Today I heard the news that my family has moved out to the new house, I thought they will do that at the end of the month. I was so sad and cried out to the Lord. 'God, what's next?'
One by one, our things was taken away. First, our family's happiness, then my parents marriage life, even almost my father's and my mother's life, then my brothers' academic, our car, our deposits, and now, our house, and it didn't stop until that, my little dog need to be out too. We have a big problem, my father worked as bank manager, one day, the money from his bank was corrupted by his vice manager, the sum is huge. Even though my father didn't know anything about that, the big boss accused him involved in this matter. Then, within one day, everything changed. Our life was never the same again.
Our home, that we lived for 20 years, our dog that grew up together with us for 7 years now were taken. We moved to the new house, owned by strong moslem family, no dog allowed, and since we had tried to search another house but can't find, we decided to take that house, but need to leave out dog alone.
What's next? Let it be ceased, my Father, my Savior. I cried out to you, you are my God, to you I believe. I put my trust in you. Help us, Jesus.
I know that you will save us, I have faith in you, but even if you don't help us, I will still put my trust in you, I will always believe in you, even stronger and stronger. The more I see pains in this world, the more I want to be in heaven. I am longing to see heaven. Heaven is far more beautiful than this world, no suffering, no struggling, no pains, no sorrows, no sadness, not even one small drop of tear. My eyes is on you, Jesus.
If I looked to the past, I am truly blessed. You are such an awesome God. You saved my father, my mother, my brothers and sister, You always guide and take care of them. You make the relationship among us stronger, my mother love my father, parents love children and vice versa. Why should I curse you? I should even worship you more and more. I will always love you till I my body fall asleep, my heart stop beating.
God, thank you for open my eyes of understanding. Even through this situation, you put something in my mind. I want to write it to everybody to bless them. In Jesus' name. Amen
----------------------------------------------------------
Have you even moved out? What did you do to your old house? You sorted all the things and packaged it, right? Sometimes, when you are doing sorting and cleaning stuff like that, you realized that your house wasn't as clean as you thought. There was some spiderweb or some other dirt behind your cupboard, or below your stair, there were a lot of moth, etc. You will never realized it until you do the housemoving.
The same thing apply with our heart, my friends. We would never know how dirty and shameful it is. We never realized it because no one tell us so. Who told you watch adult movie is sin if you are already more than 17 years old? Who told you smoke, drug, free sex are sin if you are mature enough to be responsible for your own future? Who told you cheating is sin if everybody else is cheater? Bad, cheap stuff was sold for a good couple of money, just because your 'good' advertisement. Is that not cheating? Of course not, right? That's your opinion. Or who told you to be selfish is not sin if everybody do so, is there saint in this world, everybody is a liar. Is that your thought? I myself admit, I did think like that before.
Why? The answer is simple, because we still live in the darkness. We can't differenciate between right or wrong. Even though we could, but we can't help it, we still keep doing that, even worse. The more mature we are, the more wicked we become. When we were just a small child, we only did lie, but now, we cheat. We did only see our friend's exam paper, but now we steal. We did only watch porn movie, but now we do free sex, orgies, sex before married, even worse, adultery. Are those things sin for you? Of course not, right?....Or though you know those things are sin and there is voice from the bottom of your heart that told you it so, you chose to kill that voice, you chose your own life. You think, life is just once, live your life fully, enjoy the life. You filled your heart with those bad things, my friends.
Let me tell you plainly, the things you do, I did those things as well. We are not saints, that's the truth. Since we were born in this world, we are already under control of sin, and wage of sin is death. We know it, but we can't help it, so what? As I tell you and I also did before, I kill my sense, I kill my heart, and continue to enjoy the life. Is that true? Do you admit that your heart is so dirty but you can't help it?
You know it is wrong, and you know you have to pay for the penalty, you think that your chance to go to heaven is 50:50. You just hope, that all your good deeds in this world is greater than your bad deeds, and hope that God is generous enough to let you pass the heaven's door. You just can hope but not sure, because you know that you are a sinner. Your heart is so dirty.
As housemoving, we wouldn't move unless some greater force force us to move. For my family' case, we were forced by the outsider. But maybe for your own case, you move because you want to life in better home, or because of your work or your study. But, above all, they need driving force. Am I right?
The same thing apply with our dirty heart. We, for the whole lifetime, have been there, we covered ourself with muds, rubbish, etc, nobody or no force force us to move. Who or what can force us to move from that darkness life?
The answer: The Light
Because the Light come and present himself, shine upon our darkness life, our eyes now opened. We realize that our heart is so dirty, we don't like it, we are ashamed, we want to find out the solution to cleanse us. Some people do have a bath again and again, hope their heart was cleansed, some people go to the club, party, some people go to alcohol, some people go the yoga class, some people go to sex, some people go to personality development class. But still, they can't find it. Be rejoice if you are in that position. For godly sorrow leads to repentance.
You are not alone, I was like that before, all my sin, my bad attitude, my dirty life were exposed by the Light. Even for my case, I tried to kill the Light, to shut the Light off. I rejected Him, despised Him. But, the more I run from it, the dirtier I felt. Then, I began to think to myself, who is this Light? Why He is too 'care' for me by disturbing me always? I want to come to him and tell him to shut up and do his own business.
Then I called him, and saw him. I saw Light. He said to me, 'My son, I love you, I really do love you, I don't want you to always struggle with your sins alone. I know you couldn't help it. My son, I am your Father, I want to help you, I will never let you alone anymore. I will help you through these bad things. Here, take my Hands, hold onto me, I will take care everything for you, just believe me and follow me.
I asked him, 'Who are you? Then he answer, 'I am Jesus. I died on the cross for you. I love you, my son. See my hands, don't you see my hands? Would you put your finger to where the nails were? Touch it if you don't believe, if you need to see first then believe.'
Then, I said to him, 'Jesus, I am so sorry for my sins, I am so sorry for my bad attitude, I am so sorry for hardness. I am so sorry if I have said, 'I would believe him, if only I saw his miracles, his signs'. I am sorry for everything, Jesus'.
He replied, 'My son, follow me, I will show you and guide you to the life you should have. Would you put your trust on me?'
Again, I said, 'Jesus, I am surrender, I will follow you till the end.'
And then, suddenly I found my peace. He lifted up all my burden, my dark heart, my sins. I found my peace for the very first time. `He renewed my heart, He gave me His Spirit, to guide me, to keep me safe, to take care of me. He give me a new heart, clean heart.
My friends, Jesus never promised you to change your jungle to be a highway. Nope. But he promised that he will be always with us, if we are stumbled, he will hold our hands, if we fall, we would never fall down to the ground, he will hold our head and body. If you face wild animals, he will guard us. If we are lost, he will guide us. If we are afraid, he will stand in front of us. If we are sad, He will kneel down to us, and remove the tears in our eyes and said, 'Do not be afraid, my son cause I am with you.' If we are hungry or thirsty, he give us the bread of life and river of living water. He never let us alone anymore.
We are too valuable for him. He said if he had 99 in his care, but one is missing, he will leave the 99 in his house and go to find the one that was lost. We are apple in his eye, we are his children, he called us by name since we were in our mother's womb. He even know the number of our hairs. He is God, my friends. He created us, He knows the best for us.
My friends, Jesus loves you too. He is not just love me. He loves everybody. He loves the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. He promised us to dwell together with him in heaven after we died. He wants you to call him, 'Abba, Father'. It is not 50:50, but 100% sure. I tell you the truth.
Do you want to know who He is? Ask him to show himself to you. Open your heart, stop hardening your heart. He will surely come directly to you because He want to know you too. He is still knocking in front of your heart's door. Open your heart fully, not only just a little. Just like housemoving, move totally out, surrender all from your sins, repent and invite him. Jesus loves you.
No comments:
Post a Comment