Saturday 24 January 2009

This is my story

This is about my life until this time that I tried to put it into one article. Some people will not have interest on it, some people will just try to find my mistakes to shoot me down, some people are indeed willing to know more about me, and some people will mock me even more. Just feel free to do whatever you like, but I tell you the truth, I don't have time to reply mockery and comments from people who just want to find my mistakes. I also want to encourage you to ask first people's testimony of born again before you read and learn from them for if they don't have Holy Spirit, their teachings will be full of poison and you will get more confusion than understanding. You will put your eternity in danger because you follow wrong people.

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My friends, I want to share with you a little more about me, about the person who always disturb you with his weighty and forceful articles. I want my life to be an open book, without dark secret or hypocrisy.

About my background

I am Indonesian and was born in Christian family 25 years ago. I am now in Germany and have been here since October 2006. Like other people, the reason I came here is to pursuit a better life abroad. I wanted to change my future, I wanted to be rich, to be comfy and I wanted to escape Christian persecutions in Indonesia.

I used Chemical Engineering as my tool to pursue a better future. Through it, I got admission from TU Dortmund, Germany and since that time my adventure began. The journey that I never dreamed about, even in my wildest dreams. Now I have finished my Master degree and I have opportunity to get what I want and to be comfy with 2000€/month salary.

About my spiritual life

Since I was a child I was so thirsty about God, I always disturbed my parents, pastors, friends with questions about God and nobody could satisfy me. I have visited many churches and denominations to find God but I couldn't find Him. I read my Bible but I couldn't understand, I prayed but my prayers always stuck on the roof, I also didn't enjoy singing and worshipping God, my body was too lazy for that, but still deep down in my heart, I was so hungry for the truth.

The preachers of the churches I visited always told me that heaven is for me, that I have a blessed assurance that Jesus has paid the price for me by becoming my substitute of sins, no matter how I sinned before God after my conversion, Jesus will justify it in the end. Once saved forever saved.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read this verse:

1 John 3:9

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.

The churches taught me that what I need to do is just to pray a simple prayer by repeating what the pastor said and then he shoke my hand and hugged me with joy "Welcome to the kingdom of God, you are now child of God". He told me that I should keep my faith and start doing good deeds by following sacraments and traditions of the church, being active member, paying tithe and offering and living my Christian life well (reading Bible daily, praying, having fellowship) to repay God for His goodness. These deeds felt like obligation to me, not because of my nature has changed.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read this verse:

Matthew 7:21-23

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Because of church doctrines, I did sincerely believe that I was saved and I will go to heaven when I died. Though I never read Bible and I continued living in sins, Jesus has paid the price for me. So when the people came to me and told me that I was a sinner, I will quote Matthew 7:1-2. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Those are indeed the good verses to shut the mouth of people who sincerely love me and want me to be saved. I had itching ears and I was a self-righteous man. I hated to be rebuked, to be critized, I was easily offended by people who talk about Jesus.

Devil has blinded my eyes, devil in me will start to react everytime I saw true child of God came to me. "Here comes the saint, the holy man, the fanatic. He will talk about Jesus again, let's run and hide." I lived in darkness but still thinking that I was fine, I was okay, I was child of light. I was deceiving myself.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read these verses:

Hebrews 10:26-27

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God

Galatians 5:19-21

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God

But thank be to God. In my heart something always disturbed me when I was sinning, it always condemned me by saying "You are not saved, you are a sinner, you are going straight to hell, you need to repent" but doctrines of the "church" always rebuked me when I was thinking like that. It says that by doubting my eternity, my salvation, I don't believe God and I don't have faith that Jesus' sacrifice is enough and His grace is sufficient, etc. They said that my faith is futile if I did that.

Doctrines + faith = closed system. When doctrines failed you, faith plays great role, when faith failed you, doctrines play great role. I have no deep conviction that Holy Spirit was in me, I was having form of godliness but denying its power. When people ask me, "Where is the kingdom of God?" I would automatically answered "In my heart", but I can't feel it. I was no different with other unbelievers or my life even worse than them.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read these verses:

1 Thessalonians 1:5

because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction.

James 1:22-23

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like

And I also saw many hypocrites in the churches, who always talk about Jesus, but their life testified the opposite, but still, they kept preaching as "stumbling block". They are proud to be "predestined" to be saved, to be called before the beginning of world. They are just a happy, hypocrite Christians. "God is our Father, God is good all the time, etc". They misused the benefit of being genuine children of God and applied them all to themselves, the hypocrites. I was tired of these people, of these hyporitical liars and in fact no less than 75% people in the church are like that. And I was one of them.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read these verses:

Matthew 22:14

For many are called, but few are chosen

1 John 2:4

The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

1 John 4:20

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

They don't care about those who are unsaved, those non-believers, they never preached, never show their faith, they continue living in sins and still they are happy, joyful Christians, who say that they love God just in their mouth, but in their heart, they are far from Him. There are good people, very nice and very helpful, they follow the Golden Rule "do to others what you want others to do to you", but they are selfish about their salvation. They want to go to "heaven" alone. They don't care about other people's salvation. Most of them have tax collector's love, they love those who love them, they respect those who respect them, but they despise the poor and the needy. And I was part of those hypocrites.

They choose to stay in quietness behind the corridor of religion tolerance, maintain "peace", they keep their "Jesus" for themselves. Everyday they interact with people, with unbelievers, but they choose to tell dirty jokes instead talking that Jesus loves them and want them to be saved. The true reason they don't preach is because they are afraid of being persecuted, afraid of losing friends, afraid of being mocked, they choose to conform to the world, to worship the evil spirits in the high places, but still, they say that "God is my Father, I am child of God". They boast so much about their flesh, their understanding in doctrines and theologies, or whatever, but nobody can see Jesus in their life. And I was one of them.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read these verses:

Luke 9:23

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.


Until it came to a time where I was tired of myself and those people then I chose to be an atheist. My thought toward God was: God is a tyrant, crazy respect guy, etc. He makes some of the people to be His object of wrath and others to be object of blessing. Why He needed to create this world if He already appointed men to heaven or hell in the first place? This world will just be a drama if God already determined the output. I became the product of doctrines of the church, product of "the Christian" as religion, not as the way of life.

To some of you who are like I was. Please read these verses:

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance

John 5:17

Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working."

Some of my friends choose to deceive themselves by being a happy, joyful Christians forever and hates correction and rebuke, but I chose to be an atheist if the true Gospel is like that. Thank be to God, those gospels are half-truth gospels, they have some truth but they neglect other Bible verses. It will only satisfy those who have itching ears, who are now "born again" and think that "heaven" is theirs. They are happy when God has chosen them and He will protect their salvation. They think that It is God's business to keep us safe till the end and when the judgment day come and they are sent to hell, they will blame God as a liar.

Is "carry your cross, deny yourself, come and follow me" a choice or an forceful act from God? Do mankind have no freewill? They love "predestined" teaching that God will save them and destroy all the unbelievers, just because they have faith without deeds, and others have deeds without faith. The deeds that Bible always mention is love, not doing sacrament or traditions of the church, not observing law, but love God with all our heart, our mind, our soul and love our neighbours.

Galatians 5:6

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

I reasoned, if all of those people who have faith alone in Jesus, but have no love, will be saved and enter the kingdom of God, 2.1 billions of people will be there, what the difference between heaven, the holy place and the earth, the fallen world? Even the hollywood, porn stars or everyone who keep sinning can enter heaven just because once in their lifetime they said the sinner prayer and because of that prayer, they have transferred all the guilt of their sinful acts to Jesus.

They make Jesus as their servant, as their scapegoat. That "jesus" is so poor and need to be pitied, that "god" is unfair, he judged the ancient world and destroyed them all and saved only eight people, but now he saved 2.1 billions of "christians". Something wrong with those doctrines of Bible. Bible always says that God is unchanging God, that only a remnant will be saved, that many are called but few are chosen. We need to strive to enter that narrow gate. Only those who walk like Jesus, who carry their own cross daily, who live in righteousness and holiness, who deny themselves again and again, who left all things behind and follow Christ and hate his own life will be saved. Praise the Lord for His justice.

But these people crucify Jesus on the cross again and again. Monday-Saturday, they sin before God, Sunday they confess their sins and happy again, they do this until they die. The churches misquoted the Bible for their own justification. They never teach people about sins, hell, judgment, etc because they are afraid of losing flocks, losing their income, etc.They just want to satisfy people's itching ears. They will fall into the hand of angry God. Thank be to God, I have come out from that religious institution that full of hypocrisies and I know the true Gospel of Christ that heaven is only for the chosen ones, who really give their life for Christ, not for mediocres or hypocrites. The more I read Bible, the more I chose not to be the big fans of the church. I chose to have practical fruits of Spirit and if possible avoid teaching about doctrinal issue, but learn from daily walk with Christ and from my Bible.

The churches are messed up. I find it is very difficult to find the true church where God dwells inside and I believe that it can't be in those mega-churches for Bible said that in the last days people will gather for themselves false teachers and false prophets to satisfy their itching ears and many will be deceived by them and the true believers will be persecuted, mocked, even sincerely killed by people who think that they are offering sacrifice to God. The true born again Christians will be called "heretic" if the continue preaching about Jesus in the Bible, if they keep telling those who sinned against God to be in danger of hell. But on the other hand, those who preach another "jesus" will be called man of God, servant of God, yippie kay yay...

My past

As a young child, I went to Sunday school diligently, I loved to hear the Bible stories and believe in everything my teachers told me. I was so innocent and pure but with time, my logic started to develop and my flesh started to ask for satisfication. My life was becoming worse and worse and because of my heart always condemning me and the churches always said that "I am saved, I am child of God", I started to think that religion is the opium of people and I am still thinking the same even until now. Religious system are the beast and it was riden by a woman through her Ecumenical movement, her adulterous acts. This woman is a city who sits on seven hills in Rome, the great whore of Babylon (Revelation 17).

I committed many sins, especially behind my closing door. I watched porn, masturbated, told dirty jokes, lied to my parents, stole from them and I had girlfriends and continued committing sins. People will see me as good person, good Christian because I wore my mask very well. I could hide my dark secret closely and it was just between me and God.

But still, deep down in my heart, I was looking for God. Even though in my heart I was an atheist, I still went to the church, just to satisfy my parents for they always forced me to the church. I was also tired going to the pulpit for altar call when messages rebuked me. I moved forward more than 3 times and accepted Jesus as my Saviour again and again. I just know that I was a sinner and needed to be saved, but I can't fight my flesh, my sinful nature. I always fall away and continued sinning. At that time I just wanted to be saved but I didn't want to surrender all. Jesus was my Saviour but not my King. I was the king of myself. From that experience I knew that even though the people gave 99.9999% for God and 0.0001% for themselves, they are still not yet child of God. He wants all of our heart and our life.

If I see my past, I pity my atheist and non-believer friends. They are absolutely right, there are lot of hypocrites and stumbling blocks in the churches and those who sit on Moses' seat are hungry for money, for power, for applauses, for their god is in their belly. I just couldn't see when I was part of them, I was blind but now I see. The churches need to be purified from all of those hypocrites and stumbling blocks. Many people chose to be enemies of God not because they hate God, but because Christians churches are full of hypocrites and stumbling block.

My encounter with God

When I first arrived in Germany, the life was so difficult, I was not used to live alone, without parents and friends. The life here was totally new, I had culture shock and missed my home a lot. My heart started asking about God again and I started needing His help again, I started to go to the church even though I could not understand the language. I was ao thirsty to know Him again. I started reading my Bible, the thing that I never did before. And God saw my heart. Praise the Lord.

One day I met my college and he preached about Jesus that made godly sorrow lead to repentance arose in my heart. He invited me to come to fellowship on Sunday. I thank God for that. God has not given up on me. During the fellowship I gave my life to Christ. I began to love reading Bible, to go to fellowship, to pray, etc.

Ít took me 6 months struggling of faith before I got confirmation from God Himself. I was in the retreat in Italy, God came to me and touched my heart. I was broken for I could feel His presence, it was so good, it was so marvelous and I wanted to dwell in that mood forever. He satisfied my thirst with river of the living water, something started to flow from my belly like electricity and filled my whole body, I could feel that my body burned. At that day I began to commit my life to Him more than before, I said "Be it unto me according to Your will, God". And at that time, He gave me vision, purpose of my life, He wanted me to go back to Indonesia and preach about His kingdom.

I said to Him, "God, do You really want me to go back to Indonesia? You don't want me to go for mission impossible, right? You don't want me to look for death by confronting people to repent toward God and have faith toward Jesus Christ, right? God, You alone know the situation in my country, I want to escape from that, but now You send me back. We are the biggest moslems country in the world, many churches are closed down everyday, we can't preach in public and talk to those who already have their own belief about Jesus but now you want me to be boldly preach about You, You want me to die young, God."

I still reasoning with Him, "And not only that, God. The churches are messed up. I learned from my past when I travelled from one church to others, most of them teach doctrines, not Gospel, even when they teach gospel, they teach another gospels, Prosperity Gospel and New Age Gospel, not Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the Father, except through Him (John 14:6), not "seek you first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33)". They make the salvation is wide opened, even the wicked, the evildoers will go to heaven because Jesus has died for them. Jesus' blood was so cheap, just by repeatly saying a prayer of repentance, we are all now children of God. Now you want me to oppose those pastors, preachers and those who sit on Moses' seat. You are indeed want me to commit suicide".

I kept asking Him, "Why me, God? I am engineer, not preacher, I want to have comfy life, not be persecuted, I want to live long, not die young. I want to have family and be happy, what if when I married and You sent me to dangerous place and my wife will say "My husband, do you want me to be a widow in this young age?" Should I say to her, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men?" God, I am a normal guy, I have flesh desire, I am tempted in many ways, You alone knows my past, I was addicted to porn and masturbation, now it would be very difficult for me to find a wife who is willing to support my mission. I am ruined, I am a dead meat."

I was afraid, I told Him all my worries: about persecution, about comfort life, about wife, famiily and ask Him what should I do, etc. And He answered me directly. He gave me Scripture from 1 Chronicles 16 and Ephesians 5:22-33.

About my future: Bible said, "He remembers his covenant forever, the word he commanded, for a thousand generations, the covenant he made with Abraham, the oath he swore to Isaac. He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, to Israel as an everlasting covenant: "To you I will give the land of Canaan as the portion you will inherit (1 Chronicles 16:15-18)."

About persecution: Bible said, "He allowed no man to oppress them; for their sake he rebuked kings: "Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm (1 Chronicles 16:21-22)." I will not die until I finish my mission and fully satisfied and ready to see the Lord.

About my task: Bible said, "Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples (1 Chronicles 16:24)" and also "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:25-27). God wants me to preach to unbelievers and also purify His church and prepare for His second coming.

After that day, I was totally changed and became a new person, my ambition, my selfishness, my pleasure were all changed, renewal of my mind started to happen in me. Since that day, my freewill worked in parallel with what God has predestined about me before the creation of the world. I surrender all, I allowed Him to have free course in me.

My preparation

I got confirmation from God and received Holy Ghost Baptism on 28 October 2007 and since that day, He trained me with solid food. He allowed the devil to cause great problems to my family back in Indonesia. Within one day, all our properties were taken away by the bank. Our house, our car, our bank deposit, everything.

My father was a bank manager, he has worked for 32 years and one day, his bank was robbed by insider, his vice manager took about $400000 from the bank and put it into some projects and he was cheated and suffered loss, the money were all gone. The owner of the back demanded my father's responsibility and not only that, he was accused to be involved.

I just know that God has something through this situation. My father is in prison now, he has been there for more than 5 months, my family live only by grace of God, but I rejoice that through this situation, my faith is growing, my family is purified.

Once my father almost commited suicide because the burden he had, God delivered him, my mother was seriously ill, God healed her, my parents thought about divorce, God made them solid and unseparated, my sister missed her thesis defence because the day of her presentation was just after she heard the bad news and her heart was down, but God touched her supervisor's heart and she is now working well, my brother had problem in his study and 99% he had to stay in the same level from another year, but God gave him wisdom and he passed the final exam with good grade and his grade was sound and fine. My life in Germany was only by His grace, I working while studying. And during my thesis I got scholarship, somebody just come to me and offer help. Even though my bank account is never more than enough, but God knows how to provide me.

If you know me since May 2007, the first time I published my article, don't be surprise if you notice how often I wrote articles while I need to work, to study and do my thesis, and to preach while my family is in trouble and my father in prison and the police and the court are troublesome. It is not about me, but God in my life.

This one last year is just for my preparation, I have not even started. My spiritual battlefield is in Indonesia. I write articles to teach myself, it is my best way to learn from God and I thought I should share them with people. If you think I don't teach myself, I will not argue with you, but I would like to invite you to come and see my life.

My ministry

My mission is not an easy task but I have been doing it faithfully. I challenged RCC about their Holy Father, Pope as antichrist and their "mother and child worship" as paganism teaching, I challenged them to prove me from Bible about purgatory, celibacy, pray to and for the dead, confessing sin to priest and be forgiven by them, etc.

Who is the Pope so that he can define 7 new sins, is he not playing God? If you have wisdom, translate his title VICARIVS FILII DEI to latin number and you will find 666. (I = 1, V = 5, C = 100, L = 50 and D = 500, other than that is 0). And see this inverted cross sign, antichrist symbol.

God allowed me to go deep into Catholicism and I offended so many of them. Though my intention was to go against that institution, that office of papacy, that antichrist church, but many people just can't differenciate between "doctrines+faith" and "true salvation". I just see my past when many of them mocked me and kicked me out from their contacts. They don't understand, their eyes are still blind. I just believe that the seed that I have sown, will not go wasted.

But some of those who have make oath to their Holy Church who worship Queen of Heaven, Mother of God, the Jesuit Order started to make havoc and condemn me. Do I conform? Conform to where? Do you think it is my will to die young? God give me great burden in my heart about them. But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot (Jeremiah 20:9). There was a time I was afraid and weary, I almost gave up, I spent hours writing one articles but the result is mockery and persecution.

I also challenged those hypocrites who sit on seat of Moses in the "Christian" churches as "super-apostles" not to lord over their flocks but to serve them, not to satisfy what people's itching ears want to hear, but to speak the Word of God. And to those "Christians" to show their faith with love, help the poor, defend the weak, stand for the truth, even they have to lose their life. I also received many rejection from my own friends, the friends I played with, the close friends, even my girlfriend. They disowned me. Will I conform? Conform to where? Jesus alone who has the words of eternal life. I believe and know that He is the Holy One of God.

I also challenged moslems to know more about Jesus and start asking questions about Muhammad, is he really the prophet of God when all the prophets in Old testament were the Jews, how can someone from Arab claimed that he was even the greatest? If God is everywhere, why they must face the direction of Kaaba for praying? Why God can make a mistake when He sent His angel to ask illiterate man to read, the angel even choke him anf force him to read. God knows everything and His presence filled the universe, so why this prophet teach otherwise? They through the spirit of Jihad want to make their religion the biggest in the world, should I run for my life? Run to where? Jesus teaches me to bless those who persecuted me, to forgive them because they don't know what they are doing, to love my enemies.

I challenged atheist and those who worship idols to know the true and living God, Almighty God, I used wisdom, logic, reasoning, etc just to win them to Christ. If they are who created God, I ask them about the first law of thermodynamic: energy can't be created and can't be created nor destroyed. If they believe in that law, why they can't believe in God?

I challenged those who believe in reincarnation, which says that the bad guy will become animals or plants and the good guy will increase their status in the afterlife. See the world, the world is getting wicked but there are more people than before. The world should lose its mankind population and animals and plants population should increase in this time for all the bad guys transform to animals or plants.

I challenged those who worship idols and ask them if somebody bring axe or baseball stick and destroy their "woody", "stony" or "goldly" idols, who will be angry, those "woody" "stony" "goldly" gods or their followers? Why people need to defend gods who can't even defend themselves? If they can't defend themselves, how can they answer your prayers? how can they save your soul from hell?

Will the people not hate me? You know by yourself that faith is sensitive issue, people can sincerely kill somebody who offend them so much. As I said again and again, I have been bought by the precious blood, my heart is already fully satisfied and if I chose to be selfish, to die is gain. I will not argue with God if somebody handcuffed me, stoned me, or even beheaded me. Though I am a human being, who have fear, but fear is spirit, and it is not from God, worry is sin, I believe that I will not die until my mission has finished and when the time is coming, He will strengthen me. Maybe God has prophecied about me when I even has not saved yet. I have been baptized and my baptism name is Stephen, the first martyr. Actually I want to see Jesus come with my own eyes, not when I have already fell asleep. But can I choose my death?

I don't care about religion tolerance for I love everybody and want them to be saved, to know the truth and be set free. Religion, sacrament, tradition, idols can't save us, but God alone through His begotten Son, Jesus Christ, the Word who became flesh, God Himself.

My new life

My life is now full of noise. I am happy for that. This life is no more boring. I have been called "heretic" "children of darkness" "false teacher" "false prophet" "fool" "fanatic". I care less about that for I don't judge myself, I only work for my Master, Jesus Christ. He is the One who will judge me. I have signed my dead contract, I hate my life and I don't want to live in this fallen, wicked world. For me, to die is gain for I will see my Saviour and be with Him for eternity. Why should I stay longer in this world? This world is not worthy of me. World full of problems, vanities, troubles, and evil. The reason I live is for Christ, I can't be selfish and think only my own salvation. There are lot of blind and fool people around me, they are the lost sons and daughters of my Lord, they are my brothers and sisters who chose to move out from the home I need to call them back.

Some of them like to be rebuked and they will love me, some of them dislike my rebuke and start mocking me and they will sincerely hate me and start making havoc and discredit me. And that's also part of my task. He said, "Go and tell this people, "Be ever hearing, but never understanding, be ever seeing, but never perceiving. Make the heart of this people calloused, make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes and hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn and be healed (Isaiah 6:9-10).

As Jesus brought sword to separate His children and children of darkness, my message will just "repent" or "perish" not undecided or purgatory, "hot" or "cold" not lukewarm, "Jesus" or "mammon" not both, "children of God" or "children of darkness". And it is not my task to use beautiful words that full of the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming to deceive you. I will speak as plain as possible. I will never use dictionary or sematic or whatever to justify myself. I will not speak on my own, but use my Bible, the Word of God. I will always quoted "Jesus said" "Bible said". The Bible stands and has authority for it always "yes" and "amen". Either you follow and got saved or move away and perish. But still people try to justify themselves through sematic or dictionaries, whatever.

That's a little information about me. So my friends, I don't care about your opinion toward me, you can call me whatever you like, I will not beg anybody to read my articles, I wrote for myself, to teach me more. Bible said,"Let him who does wrong continue to do wrong; let him who is vile continue to be vile; let him who does right continue to do right; and let him who is holy continue to be holy (Revelation 22:11)."

  • It would be stupid for me to leave Germany and my comfort life, my career with 2000€ per month, my everything but I worship God in vain all this time.
  • It would be stupid for me to use my precious time to tell you something unbiblical and in the end I go to hell and your blood is on my head.
  • It would be stupid for me to shake your foundation of faith and rebuild in the same foundation again.
  • It would be stupid for me to shorten my lifetime, to be hated by telling you something unbiblical. What will I gain?
  • It would be stupid for me if I am mocked or even killed because I teach heresies, not because they see Jesus in me rebuke, reproof, correct them.

As Pharisees hated Jesus without reason (John 15:25), many people also sincerely hate me. You tell me when I asked money from you, when I took God's glory for myself, when I spoke not from the Bible? If my interpretation is not in accordance with you, it doesn't mean that you are right and I am wrong or vice versa. If you are Christians, you should know that we are running the race, some of you have reached further and they try to help you. Both of us should bring it to the Lord or it will be like a student who tell his professor "you are wrong". Again, I am not saying that I am right and you are wrong or vice versa, but please bring it to the Lord.

By their fruits you will recognize the false prophets and these are the fruits of Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). False teachers and false prophets are not seen from how big is their church, congregation, how many books they have published, how long they have been in Christ, from which denomination they are, how famous they are. Maturity in Christ can be seen from their fruits, not their seniority or other quantities measurement.

And these are the fruits of sinful nature: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies (Galatians 5:19-21).

  • If preachers teach you to idolize money like prosperity preachers (Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, and other televangelists), they practice idolatry.
  • If preachers teach you about miraculous healing like Todd Bentley and then he divorced his wife, or they also not only be able to heal but also prophecy, but none of his prophecies have been fulfilled like Benny Hinn, who even sell spiritual gifts on his website: gift of anointing for $75, gift of healing, gift of deliverance, etc, they practice witchcraft.
  • If preachers teach you to support Zionism and send troops to kill each others in Middle East War like John Hagee, they have hatred.

I just want you to be careful with those super-apostles, as I said again and again, in the last days people will gather around themselves teachers who can satisfy their itching ears. Those false prophets and false teachers will be loved by them and the true born again Christians will be persecuted and condemned, called heretic. Just be careful. Test my spirit always. Don't easily call me "heretic" or whatever because you see my interpretation is different. What if I have Holy Spirit inside me? You will have sinned against the Holy Spirit, you will have grieved the Holy Spirit. Check my fruits first and rebuke me if I am wrong. I love to be rebuked and I will love more those who rebuke me for they have saved my life, saved me from worship God in vain.

If you think that I am a fool. Bible said, "The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God (1 Corinthians 1:18). I am not a fool, but I chose to be fool for this Gospel. If I can boast about myself and ask you, "have you ever seen a foolish man got MSc degree from Germany?"

I have no bad intention, but I love you with all my heart. I want you to be saved but how can somebody be saved if they don't know that they are still unsaved? if they don't know what sins they have to repent for? Why people angry when I bring light to them so that they can see how dirty they are? But this is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed (John 3:19-20).

I have counted my cost and as the Bible said that only a remnant will be saved, I just believe that my contacts will reduce even more. But don't worry, this guy will leave Germany very soon and come back to his country and I just want to give you more awareness to test the spirits and open your eyes more about the situation in Christianity. I will care less about whether people will like it or not, but I will increase my fire into my writing for all this time, I keep trying to hold myself. But since I don't have much time left, I will preach like no tomorrow.

My friends, I will not declare to you and advertise myself more than I should do. If I boast more than this, I will have committed sins. I just want you to test my spirit, see my fruits and always ask the Lord, "God, is this mad guy, Alvin, teach me the truth or heresies?" You have your own freewill. And if you think that my messages are from God, you better start acting like Jesus otherwise I am just a voice in the wilderness, preaching about righteousness and holiness, repentance toward God and faith toward Jesus Christ in preparing the way of His Second Coming that will happen very soon. God bless you

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