I love my mom

I have a special woman in my heart. Nothing can take her position from me. She is my mom, she is the most important figure in my life. When I was in her womb, my heart beat next to hers, we are one, what she ate I also ate, what she drank I also drank, when she sick I also sick, I just can feel her, when she was happy, angry, afraid, worry, etc. Our hearts connect each others. Her muscles kept me warm and safe.

I was becaming bigger and bigger in her wombs, I hindered her movements, I made her went to bathroom thrown up again and again, I gave her trouble when she wanted to sleep, I made her worry when something bad happen to me. "Doctor, how is my baby? Is he okay? Please doctor, make sure that everything is alright" I kicked her from inside, but she never angry with me. Instead, she smiled, "my baby is kicking, he is healthy". She knows me 7 months earlier than anybody else in the world (I was born premature). When she wanted to enjoy having vacation, I wanted to go out and see the world, I ruined her holiday.

Instead of going for holiday, she went to hospital. My time to see the world has come. What a wicked man I am, I can't let her enjoy herself, even a bit, I kept always make her suffering. She needed hours to deliver me, she was in the life or death situation, she was in birthpain, the greatest pain in the world, for long time. "Mom, hold on. I want to see the world. Hold on, mom. My life is depend on you. If you are tired, I will die inside you. Mom, keep pushing me out, mom."

My friends, if you are still a "boy" or a "girl" and always argue with your mother, you better go to the hospital and see how the woman gives birth. I can guarantee you that afterward, you will love your mother no matter how unperfect she is. And to my sisters, if you have aborted your baby, you should know that his heart was beating next to yours, and just because you are ashamed if people will know your immoral acts, you chose to become a murder. I know that God put the guilt in your heart, you have been regretting about it even up until now. "If only there is a time-maschine", you think. You need to repent and ask God's forgiveness, then He will take away the pain. He will give you peace again. Say sorry to Him with all your heart.

I was so selfish and fool in the past. I don't know how many times I have hurted her and made her cry in silent. The common words came out from my mouth is "Mom is bad. Mom doesn't love me. I hate you, mom".

• When I talked foul words, she gave me chilli to my lips
• When I went outside without tell her, she lock me in the room. I cried from inside, "Mom, you are so mean" and I heard on the other side of the door, she wept and cried. She was also hurt. I can't feel her worry when I went outside without telling her anything, she has been looking for me everywhere, called my friends' house, called my dad, etc. She just panic. If only I know about it before. I would never let her in pain again. I would always cherish her. She is so precious to me.
• When we were eating together. She know that I don't like vegetables, but she force me. I said, "Mommy, your cooking is bad. I don't want to eat it."
• When I ate my favourite fishes, she gave me all the flesh, and she just ate the head and the tail. I said, "Mommy, why you behave like a cat?" She just smiled and answered, "I am not hungry, son. Do you enjoy your food?"
• When I grew old, I start to force her and ask her many, many things. "Mom, I want new shoes, I want new clothing, etc" She said, "wait, son. We must save money first" then finally she bought me a new one, but I dislike it. "Mom, it is not my style" I never wore that shirt, the shirt where she put her thought that it would fit me best. I also never realized that my clothing is far more than hers. She never think about herself, she think only about me. I am her world, but I despise her. I was so selfish. Mom, I love you so much.
• When I was sick, she kept me accompanied, she even didn't sleep to make sure I was okay. I can see from her eyes, so black like Panda in China.
• When I need to go to the school, she woke me up but I said, "Mom, I want to sleep a little longer, you go out first. Don't disturb me." But when I was late, I blamed her, "Mom, why don't you wake me up on time?"

I didn't notice her presence because she always be around me. I didn't realize how much time she spend to cook, to raise up in the morning and preparing everything for the family, to keep the household perfect and tidy. We are 4 siblings. Each child wants something. But she managed it well. One hand on the phone, another hand is cooking, her ears keep hearing the children, make sure the children don't go outside the house for there are lots of fast cars drives, and in her heart, keep thinking about her children' future and her husband who goes for work, pray for him. She pray for her family a lot. She always put my name in her prayer, but I seldom remember her. I just pray for myself. I was just so selfish.

My mother is not perfect. She can't understand me fully. She sometimes quarrel and argue with me and again, my words were just like sword, stabbed her heart again and again. I never realized how many tears she has shed for me. It happened because I can't understand her, I can't understand her situation and I don't want to understand, to care about her. I was just so selfish. I just think that it is the parents' duty to support everything their children needs. I always compare her with somebody else' mother. "Look, she is a good mother. She always gives what her children ask for." I didn't know that it hurted her so bad. Women don't like to be compared with others, especially when the words come from the mouth of her husband or her children. Mom, I am so sorry.

When I was alone in Germany. I just missed everything. I missed my family, and the person I truly missed is my mom. I want to eat her food, I want to be rebuked by her, I want to listen to her voices that always angry, talkative, make my ears hot, etc because it means that she cares a lot about me. I was so bad, I was so bad. I also said to her, "Mom, why don't you be like other mother. They work so that their children have more toys". Now, my truly respect are to the women who manage her household well, the housewife.

• If business women work from 8 am till 5 pm, housewife women work from 5 am till 1 am. She rose very early in the morning, she slept very late in the night, just to make sure the family run well.
• If business women can only manage her jobs, housewife women manage everything, "my first child love fish, second one love meat, my husband need to be reminded about important meeting, my third is on the school, I need to pick him up, I need to go to the bank to pay the rent, the bill, the gases. What is tonight menu? tomorrow there is a wedding, I want to look beautiful so that my husband will be proud of me. Those kind of mind are compacted in one weak, unperfect woman, my mom. But I love her so much.

She was weak so that I can protect her. She was unperfect so that I can support her. She is my world. God, bless her and take care of her. Strengthen her and keep her safe. Give her long life so that I can pay back all her love to me. Father God, please give me time to repay her. I have been living for 25 years but never ever done something that make her happy.

I will go back home soon, I have finished my study. Do you know what my mother asked as gift? She said, "Son, I don't want to ask you anything expensive, keep the money for yourself. You have worked for it. I just want to ask about a little ceramic, in shape of angel, frog, baby, or whatever you find it beautiful. But, son. Don't buy me the expensive one for me. You know that in our home there are lots of ceramics, buy something like that. I love ceramics, you must know it right?"

I was just shock. What an infilial son I am. I don't have any idea what my mother loves so much. I just knew that she loves ceramics when she told me in the phone. I didn't have time to ask, I was so selfish and I have already 25 years old. But thanks be to God. God dealt with me a lot. He changed my heart, from stony heart to heart of flesh. I wept a lot, I cries a lot, I was crying right now the moment I am writing. It is a lie that men don't cry. Love and compassion is something that this world need.

Brothers and sisters, if you still have mother, cherish her. She is your angel, no matter how unperfect she is, no matter how you always argue with her. She is the one that God trusted to give you life and make you able to see the world. I believe your mother will not ask you much, she just need something special from you. Something from your heart. And she will keep it and treasure it till she die. In this end of the year, share your love with your mother, angel from heaven above. God bless you

I miss my dad

My friends, at the end of 2008 I want to express my love to my father that I always long to see. I was an orphan and have been separated from my dad since I was born. I haven't seen him for all my life. I didn't have any idea how he looks like. I asked my mother but she can't tell, I asked my friends but they can't help, I asked people but they can't help too. But I missed him a lot. I don't have any photo of him, I can't see him. I always think that it is good to have a father.

Since I was a child, I always wanted to know my daddy. I always disturbed my mother with questions "Mom, how's dad looked like? Mom, does he love us? Mom, where is he? Mom, if I grow old, will I meet him? Mom, does he miss us too?" But she herself can't answer me. She just said "that he is in heaven watching over us and happy to see me growing." She was lost too, we were in the same situation, we missed our dad so much.

• Everytime I had a problem, I could only whisper, "If daddy was here, he will guide me."
• Everytime my friends came and mocked me, I could only whisper, "If daddy was here, he will defend me."
• Everytime I was tired, I could only whisper, "If daddy was here, he will encourage me and put me on his back."
• Everytime I was alone, I could only whisper, "If daddy was here, he will never abandon me."
• Everytime I was sick, I could only whisper, "If daddy was here, he will take care of me."
• Everytime I was happy, I could only whisper, "If daddy was here, he would make me even happier."

I needed my daddy. I missed him so much. I wanted to see him. I wanted to have at least one moment to feel his presence, to smell his fragrant, to see his smile, to be hugged by him, to be loved by him. I lost my daddy's figure. I wanted to be like other people who are so happy with their daddy. Daddy who told them stories, who taught them wisdom, who played around, who taught me how to walk, how to love, how to behave, how to make friends, how to be bold, how to be mature, how to find a wife, how to do many things. I want my dad. Give me my daddy back!!!

My friends, I really thank God that on 28 October 2007, after I have been waiting for 24 years and kept searching my dad, he himself came to me and showed his love to me. "My son, Alvin" "Dad, is that you?" "Yes, it is me" "Really? Don't lie to me. I don't want my heart to deceive me again, I am tired looking for you" "Here I am, son. I am not lying" "Dad? Is that really you?" "Alvin, I was there when you were born, I gave you name. You are my image, my true son" "Dad, do you know that I have been looking for you since I was born? Do you know that I want to talk with you since I was able to talk? Do you know that I want to walk with you since I was able to walk? Do you know that you have promised me that you will not abandon me and leave me as an orphan? Dad, I missed you a lot" "I know, my son, here I am. Come to me. I am your father" "Dad, promise me that you will never leave me alone again" "Yes, my son. I promise. I love you, son" "I love you too, dad". I just want to shout on top of my roof. I have a father. I feel his love, my friends, come and rejoice with me. My father has invited you to come to join our feast."

Since that day, I always want to be so closed to him. I was so thirsty for his love and compassion. I have many stories to tell and he listened all. He tells me what he think about it, what should I do, which path should I take, etc. What a wise father I have. We haven't met for a long time but we are so close, I can feel the very heart of my father. He loves me with all his heart. He is ready to do anything for my good. I just want to stay next to him, I don't want to lose him any longer, I want to learn from him, I want to tell him how I miss him, I want him to involve in every decision I make. I want my dad to guide me more and more. Sometimes he disciplines me and it hurts, I said "Daddy is bad" and he just smiled. I didn't understand why he did that, but with time, I see how he loves me, he did it for my own good. I love my daddy so much.

My daddy is a great and perfect father. He is my superhero. I don't need Superman or Batman anymore, he is stronger than them. He knows when I raised up and when I sit down. He knows the number of my hairs. When I am in needy. I tell him, "Dad, I want to go retreat with my friends in 2 weeks' time. I need your money, dad." He just answered "I will give you, son" "Can you give me now, dad?" "My son, don't you wanna go in 2 weeks' time? Why do you ask for money now? Let each day has its own problem, who of your friends by worrying can add a single hour to their life? Don't worry, my son. I will give you just before you go, so that you don't need to worry how to keep it. I will keep it for you and give it to you on time, without delay. Go and enjoy your day." "Ok, dad. You promised me. I know you never lie" Then I go and enjoy my days. I am so happy and carefree, for I know that my daddy is there, he knows my needs. I love you so much, dad.

"Dad, I am in troubles, I am afraid I will not be able to cope with it. What should I do now?" Suddenly he rebuked the problems "Quiet! Be still" then my problems go away and then he said to me "Son, why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" "Dad, I am sorry. I am learning. I never had you for a long time. I am trying to put my all trust in you. Be patient with me, dad. I am improving." "Son, please move forward, please grow mature and learn from me. I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. My instruction is easy and light, son. My plans for you are plans to prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." "Dad, why you loved me so much, even though I always failed you?" "My son, as long as you want to come back to me everytime I rebuke you and you listen to me, I will keep you saved. Beware, my son. Many people are jealous about our relationship, they will try to separate you from me again." "Dad, I am scared, I don't want to lose you" "Son, I never give you spirit of fear, but boldness. Stand firm and obey me. Okay, son? "Ai, ai, captain." ^_^

"Dad, what will we eat today?" "My son, don't worry, look at the birds of the airs. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet I feed them. You are more than those sparrows, son. Learn from me, trust me with all your heart."

"Dad, what will I put as cloth today, I want to look good to my friends?" "My son, see how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet the best designer in the world can't design as splendor as one of them, I know how to cloth the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will I not much more clothe you?" Have faith in me, son. Have you ever seen any wicked father give his son stone when he ask bread? or snake when he ask fish? or scorpion when he ask egg? I am more than him, I love you, son. Put your faith in me." "Forgive me, dad. Increase my faith. Increase my faith, dad." "Ok, son. You better mean it. I will give you hard food, no more milk. Do you mean it, son?" "Dad, when I was a child, I talked like a child, I reasoned like a child, when I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." "That's the words I want to hear from you. Let's us reason together, son."

"Listen to me carefully, son. I will give you 1 talent first, I will see how faithful you are. If you are faithful in few things, I will give you much more. I will not give more than you can bear. I don't want you to be proud and self-righteous. I will not put you in danger. For I hate pride, son." "Ok, daddy. I will show you what I can do. I will make you smile and said to me, `Here is my big boy. I am happy with him' Trust me, I will make you smile. Wanna bet, dad? Hehe... I know you will, son. I will always watch over you. I will see how you grow from a distance and see how your faith. But son, when you are in troubles and can't face it alone, cry out and I will soon come to you. And if you still can manage it, I want to see your muscle grow. Someday, I will wrestle with you and see how strong you are. Walk to that position, son." "Alles klar, dad. Promise me you keep watch over me. When I was in danger but I didn't realize about it, I know you will protect me from behind. For it is your hobbies, is it not, dad?" "You are improving, son. Yes, if you wanna know, I have protected you from thieves, adulterers, robbers, etc because you are not ready for them, your muscle is still so weak. I am the one who fight with them, but I don't want you to be idled and busibodied. Keep growing, son." "Thank you so much, dad. Watch over me. Love you dad." "love you too, son." I am so happy. My daddy is my superhero.

"Dad, see now, I have muscles" "Wow, that's great, son." "What should I do next?" "Ok, I see you are ready to go into my business. Son, I have a vineyard. The harvest is plenty, but the worker are fews, will you go and help me, son? I will give you are rewards" "Dad, I don't need rewards, I don't care what future you have prepared for me. I do it because I love you and I know that it is for my own good and you still with your hobbies, watch over my back. So if you are with me, who can stand against me?" "Haha, you make me smile, son." "I want to see always smile at me, dad. I love you so much. Now allow me to work for you. I will be your man. I will make you proud, dad. Give me my task." "Ok, but you better mean it." "I mean it, dad".

Ok, Alvin. I am Almighty God. I am your Father. As I love Jesus, my begotten Son, I love you and the world. I want you to go to them and tell them how much I love them. Alvin, there are a lot of children of darkness in the church, disguised themselves as my children. They are not mine yet, warn them to repent or drop their status as Christians, as ambassador of me, for My name has been blasphemed among the Gentiles because of them. i want you to purify the church so that it will has no wrinkle, stain and any other blemish but holy and blameless. Wash them with my Word, I give you authority. My sheep will listen to you and love you as I love you. Son, care less about what their opinion toward you. The insult from them has fallen on me. Bless those who persecuted you and pray for them, bite your tongue, don't let idle words come out from your mouth. That's my first task for you. And my second task is this: I also want you to bring my children who are trapped and confused out there back home. They are my prodigal sons, they are your brothers and sisters. Love them, son. Bring them back to me so that we can feast together and have supper.

"Son, I warn you too, to always learn from me, if you are disobey me and lead my children astray, I will judge you more strictly. It would be better for you to put the milestone on your neck and be drawn into the depth of the sea." "Dad, please, please dad, give me FEAR of the Lord, make me sensitive to hear your voice. Make me dead to myself, make me selfless, not selfish. Let I follow my big Brother, Jesus Christ. He is my role model. I want to be like Him. Guide me, dad." "Listen, Alvin. I have put my Law and Commandment into your heart. Everytime your heart do not condemn you, you have confidence before me and you will receive from me anything you ask, because you obey my commands and do what I please. My son, if your heart condemn you, go immediately back to me, ask my forgiveness and I will forgive you and strengthen you." "Ok, my Chief of Commander. Keep my back, ok?" "I will, son. Talk to you soon."

My friends, my Father wants me to tell you this, "He is coming soon. He will not delay. You have only 2 options, purify yourself, ask His forgiveness, kneel down before Him, confess your sins with all your heart and all your mouth. Surrender all to Him and start putting faith in His Son, Son of God, Jesus Christ, our LORD. Who came from heaven above 2000 years ago, died on the cross to redeem you and pay the ransom for the world. He wants all the people to be saved, but those who trample this gift of grace will only face the dreadful things from the angry and living God, GOD almighty. Repent or perish. Eternal life or eternal death.

One moment in your life, one moment confession your sins and ask His forgiveness and mercy will change your gnashing teeth to everlasting joys. I am not joking. He is coming soon. God bless you

Sisters and Brothers in the Lord

I just want to express myself about how grateful I am to be in the middle of true believers of Christ in this Multiply (specific) and in the world (general). I never met any of them, I never knew them before, I don't even know their age, status, job, family, etc. But I feel homey. With their presence around me, I feel safe. They guide my walk in Christ, they teach me a lot about Word of God, they rebuke me when I am in wrong, they encourage me when I am tired, they help me when I am in needy.

I am a blessed man, I have many sisters and brothers in the Lord all over the world. I am loved by my beautiful and wonderful sisters. I am also sharpened by my gentle and respectful brothers. They pray for me, they care about me, they love me so much and I love them too. May the LORD bless you, my brethrens.

I have godly jealous about women. I always wonder, "How can they express themselves so openly? How can they be so pure, so honest?" Everytime something touch their hearts, they don't need any second thought, they just start to share it with others, they start to embrace each others, and they start to encourage each others. Their mind is so simple and they are easily moved by their heart. When they are happy, sad, troubled, depressed, etc they can't hide it, they will go and share with others. If they just want to be heard, they will go to another women, for men can't listen. ^_^ And if they don't know what to do and need guidance, they will go to men and learn from them. It is their nature.

I now understand why apostle Paul said that woman should learn in quietness and full submission. He didn't permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a men, she must be silent (1 Timothy 2:11-12). Now I see that Bible proved itself to be true. Maybe the women themselves even don't know the reason why Paul said like that, but in fact, they are doing exactly what Paul said.

I have a lot of sisters and everytime I visit their site, I never saw any of them arguing about Bible. I never saw them teaching people about doctrines, theologies, etc, about "is christmas 25 december?" "which Bible is correct?" "what is doctrine of salvation", yada yada. What I always see from their site is "beautiful God" "be thankful" "good morning" "greeting" "have a blessed day" "listen to God" "Be like Jesus" "Jesus center of my joy" "Jesus is great" "prayer in faith", and many other beautiful messages. They are more practical than men. Everytime their heart is touched by the Word, they start to put it into practice, their fingers start typing, words by words flow from their heart and then in short moment of wonder, one masterpiece has been finished typed. They even don't know that they have composed and written many masterpieces. For them it is just a feeling, but for we who read it, we began to wonder, what an insight and deep wisdom they have and we start praising the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ. How blessed are you, women. Thank you so much, my beloved sisters.

They just care less about doctrines and theologies. What they always want to do is sharing and sharing. They share a lot, they like to share to others what God has ministered to their heart and I just praise God again and again because of what He has done through my beloved sisters. Jesus said, "Yes; have you never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings you have perfected praise? (Matthew 21:16). If even from the mouth of babes and sucklings, perfect praise can come out, I will not argue if from these women's mouth the beautiful messages start to flow and it contains full of blessing and heartfelt stories, prayers, poems, songs, etc; and people are blessed and touched because they speak from the very depth of their heart. I truly truly blessed to have you, sisters.

And from my experiences, everytime I start to see women try to teach doctrinal issue, they become imbalanced because they put more their feeling than their thoughts in it. They are easily lost and get tempered because the first thing they do when somebody argue with them is they put every argument as an attack or insult to their personal, not to their doctrines. They can't separate between thought and feeling, they mixed it together. It is no use to argue with women in doctrinal issues and it is no use for the women to be involved in doctrinal debate. It is just not their nature, their parts. My sisters, please avoid doctrinal issues, unless you want to learn more and you have prepared yourself and fully equipped.

Though, I would suggest and prefer if you just read your Bible and share with us what God has ministered to you. If you really want to understand something about doctrinal issues, please find men that you are convinced that they love Jesus more than their own life and learn from them. The great difference between true believers and hypocrites is in the wisdom, is it wisdom from God or wisdom from men.

The true men of God will make everything as simple as possible so that even the unlearned will be understand, they will use parables, stories, etc. It needs wisdom from above to understand Bible. Jesus is the best example of greatest Teacher in the world, He spoke with wisdom and in parables, so that everybody who humbled will understand, but those who depend on their own understanding will confuse. Praise the Lord.

Hypocrites and teacher of law, pharisees will make everything complicated, give you more confusion than understanding. For they themselves are confused with Bible. God's Word is like a pearl, God will not give His Word to the dogs and pigs, so that they will not trample it. It needs wisdom from God to understand Bible. If you are not born again but you tried to read Bible, I can guarantee you that the Bible will just be a normal book, or even worse, it contains full of contradiction.

God hid this Truth from the wise and learned and only show it to the little children. Who will always ask help from their Father to teach them. It need humble heart to understand, the heart who will always hit their knee and ask guidance from Holy Spirit, not relying on their own understanding everytime they want to understand Bible. Find the good disciples of Christ, do risk your eternity on somebody who are confuse himself. As a blind man lead another blind man, both of them will fall into the pit.

And please, my sisters. Do not ever start teaching about doctrines. Put your emotion on the right place, which is sharing your testimonies, sharing what God has done in your life, what God has ministered to you. Please obey what Paul said, that woman should learn in quietness and full submission. He didn't permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a men, she must be silent (1 Timothy 2:11-12). And I have explained to you about what this silent means.

I know sisters who only quote some verses from the Bible and they start to express the meaning of it beautifully and wonderfully. I just have godly jealous about how can they do that? How can they so innocent and honest to themselves and others, no wearing mask, no dual personality, just be themselves. And their honesty is shined through their writing. Everytime they see the verse that touch their heart, they will just take as it is, not trying to justify and fit their undestanding in it. If the verse is full of correction, rebuke, etc they will just try to fit themselves to the Word, not the Word to be fitted for themselves. They will not go from dictionary to dictionary to argue and to define the meaning. They themselves will explain it much better than any dictionaries in the world can express. They are blessed women. Please sisters, when you are not ready or you are not sure about the people who teach you, leave doctrinal issues.

In fact, the moment the women start to teach about doctrines and theologies, they have already lost. Paul with wisdom from God reminded the women, not to start teaching doctrinal issue, but to always learn in fully submission. When men start quarreling about words, women should interrupt, not with doctrinal issue, but with wisdom God has given unto her. Otherwise they will join the men and become more and more ungodly and ruin themselves (2 Timothy 2:14-16). I saw many of my beautiful sisters interrupted each time men argue about words, I believe that they don't even know the reason why they do it, they just moved by their heart to do that, but thing happen, they became the peacemaker. Is it not true, my beloved sisters? Do you know that you are great ambassador of Christ and peacemakers? ^_^

2 Timothy 2:14

Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.

I don't agree for a woman to study theologies or doctrines or pursuit bachelor or master degree in theology. In the church, women should share their testimonies, not her thought about some specific doctrinal issues.

And I also have great admire to my beloved brothers. Their faith is so well-founded and they have stiff neck. It would be very difficult to deal with men who already grounded in doctrines. Even though their doctrines have many flaws, they can not be moved unless they have found another doctrines which is better. Men's life are full of doctrines. Our brain plays great roles. Men are more theoretical than women. Men always want proofs, they want to see first before they believe. Women are so innocent and simple, men are so complicated and planned.

Men are senseless, men use their brain more than their heart. They can talk about doctrines for hours and hold tight to the doctrines they believe are the most correct ones. I would not be surprise if in the kingdom of God, there are more women and children than men. But I will not be surprised too, if men will be trusted by God with more cities in heaven than women, because once men are convicted in their heart, they will stick to the end, they will not conform. When their heart is settled, they will start bringing more people to God than any woman can do. Men are fighters, they will not easily satisfied. Men are hunters, they will always look for "food" and always hungry for soul.

Men are difficult to be conformed. To win them, we need wisdom from God. Just a simple heartfelt message won't work. They must be preached hard messages. They must be convicted with Word of God deeply first before they can humble themselves before the Lord. Honestly, I don't know how to preach to men, except by using logic and wisdom. They are just indifferent, unmoved. They limited themselves, they depend on their own understanding and believe that they know better than others. So, my brethrens, if you see me arguing about doctrinal issues, you better know that I am trying to preach to men, not women. Though women can also join and learn. But I just afraid when they see we are quarreling about word, they will become ungodly. I, personally don't like to argue, but in most case, I can't escape that to bring men to Christ. Paul also discussed daily with men until they convinced. I just learn to be a good servant of God.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Men, why are we so full of pride? Why can we learn from women? Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3).

I was a proud man before, I always said, "men don't cry" "men can't be easily moved" and because of that, I was not able to be honest with God, it needed long way to convict me. I needed to do experiment with my precious life, do trial and error with my life, fall again and again, but still, as long as I still use my brain and pride, I just mess my life more and more. Men are truly genius in textbook, but men are also stupid concerning faith. We always ask for proofs, but God can't be seen, how can I prove you? Can't you see and listen the testimonies from Christians who have encountered Christ, their lives changed drastically?

I have a friend, a male, everything I try to preach to him. He just said, "I know, I know all about it" and if I shared my testimonies that he don't know, he just said, "good for you. I rejoice for you, let's see what will happen to you in the next 5 years, how high God will raise you up." He just always wants for proofs. When I use wisdom, he began to think but then when something don't agree with his doctrines, he start to avoid me. "That's your faith, this is my faith. You go on your own, I go on my own." If I am convinced I go to heaven, you to the where? Can your doctrines give you deep conviction? Blessed assurance? Do you see things change around you? Have you been like Jesus? He just can't answer, but mock me. "Are you holy? Are you righteous?" "Can you control your body?" I will just invite him, "Come and see how I live, I will not pretend."

He brainwashed himself that if he can't stick to his faith, he already lost. He can't humble himself, he doesn't want to be proved wrong. His pride is too much. Even though he has no conviction about Holy Spirit, about Christian life, even though he can't fell Jesus in his life, even though he continue sinning, he only want to keep hold on the doctrines of "Once saved forever saved" "predestined", etc. Doctrines that please their itching ears, but abandon many other verses from Bible.

Hebrews 10:26-27

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Bible said, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says (James 1:22). My brothers, what use of your doctrines? What use if you know about salvation, repentance, faith, etc but you do not put it into practice. Don't you have godly jealous to our sisters? If you visit their sites, we can easily get their feeling toward God. Do your doctrines can express the beauty of God like them? Everytime we talked about doctrines, in the end of the day, we just argue each other, nobody get saved, we just become more and more ungodly and more confuse. Men, learn from women about honesty, about faith like a little children.

I learned a lot recently from women, not from men. Everytime I go to men's site, it is always full of doctrinal stuff, they are brilliant, they are genius, they are the scribe, etc. But they are stupid in God's eyes. Doctrines + faith is a closed system. If doctrines failed them, faith play great roles, if faith failed them, doctrines play great role. They deceived and deceiving each other. They are having form of godliness but denying its power. This is the strongest point and also the weakest point from men. Once they are convinced, they will be difficult to fall away.

For the same reason, since the creation of the world, God used men to speak His Word and tell the people what He is about to do. Men are difficult to be won to Christ, but when they are ready, nothing can stop them. They are warriors, going for the battle to defend the women and children.

The enemies will always attack the weak first, as the serpent also deceived Eve first and became sinner, but she will be restored through childbearing --- if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety (1 Timothy 2:15). Sisters, learn from brothers about firmness and brothers, learn from sisters about love, honesty and faith. Then, we will be perfect. We will have strong faith, strong foundation, strong mind, but also full of joy, full of love, full of compassion, full of mercy. To be honest, men indeed love to cry, they just ashamed to show it publicly.

If the men are slumbered, women and children are the easy targets and prey of enemies. Men of God, raise up!!! Why we are still being idled and busibodied with doctrines and theologies. Why we need to argue about which denomination is the correct one? The fact that you said, "I follow Luther" "I follow Calvin" "I follow Wesley" "I follow Moody" is the same situation as what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 3 "I follow Paul" "I follow Apollos" "I follow Cephas", and Bible said that once we do that, we are carnal, we are worldly, we still need to drink milk not eat hard food. If we still drink milk, we are not a man yet, we still a boy.

What our sisters and those little children need from us is a man of God, who can stand and protect them. Let's sharpen our sword of Spirit with Word of God, strengthen our Shield with Faith, put Helmet of Salvation, Belt of Truth, Breastplate of Righteousness and our feet with readiness to preach the Gospel of Peace.

Teach them to be ready, to have the unity of faith, to always test the spirits, to prove all things and hold fast to the good, to use their talents and share them with others. If they have talents in singing, playing instrument, writing poem, etc; encourage them to start using it for the glory of God. What good from man is LEADERSHIP. Women can't be leaders, no matter how talented they are, they must submit to men as a wife must submit to her husband. And men should love women as they love themselves so that you are worthy to earn respect from them. If you are a boy, but already acted like a ruler, who wants to submit to you?

There is a story about a fool and unwise man who want to be a ruler. Nobody wanted to listen to him, everybody despised him. Do you know what he did? He will go to the infants, babes, and little children and gave them candy everytime they said "O, you are a wise king". The children did it just for candies and when no candy left, they will leave too. Nobody will respect you if you are still a child and unwise, my brothers. Be a man, man of integrity who stand in the gap between God and the people, to bring Revival to the dry bones, to bring Restoration to the land.

In the old time, when Israelites moved across the Jordan. The Levites brought the ark of covenant with fear and trembles, they moved in front of the multitude of people and the people of Israel needed to consecrate themselves. Then God did miracles for them, the water from uphill stopped flowing and it became a dry ground. The Levites carrying the ark then stood firm in the middle of the river while the Israelites passed by until the whole nation had completed the crossing on dry ground (Joshua 3).

God needs a man who can fill the gap, who can stand in the middle so that the people will be kept safe and far from enemies. Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me (Isaiah 6:8)!" God needs a man of integrity who can't be moved by anything (money, power, women, idols, etc), a man who fear the LORD and committed to Him. The man who are humbled and have great compassions and burdens about people, have self-control. Because when they can't stand firm, the water from uphill will start to flow back and cover all of the people and they all die. God is looking for that kind of person.

God just need a man, not a super-man. The weaker and humbler the man, the more God will use him greatly. He doesn't want anybody take His glory. He is a jealous God. He is looking for a man who know that he is nothing, but has a great and living God. The battle belongs to God. He is the One who goes to the Battle and fight for us. He just need a man to stand between He and the people to tell them what He will do next. What we need to do is just be still and do not interrupt God doing His mighty works on the people who have fear the Lord.

My brothers and my sisters, if you see situation around you, and they are in great needy, so much problems and troubles, why don't you start to ask God to deal with you, make and mold you as a clay in the Potter's hand to be His instrument and to be able to fill the gap. The more you want to be selfless, not selfish, to be like Jesus, the greater power and access you will have to store in heaven. Men can be men of God, women can be prayer warriors who support from behind. Do you know what the women do when their husbands go for works? She manage her household well and pray for the husband. Women, you need to pray for all of us and share and strengthen our brethrens. Men, you should try to stand firm, go to battle like a mighty warrior, who conform no more and be God's instruments to slay the enemies, the devils who captives many lost souls. Go and bring them back home.

But the question is: Do you love Jesus? Can you answer that? Do you love Jesus? Can you answer that, my friends? Do you love Jesus?

Jesus asked Simon Peter three times "Simon son of John, do you truly love me? "Take care of my sheep". Jesus loves His sheep more than His life. He will not give any of them to those who careless, to those who have itching ears, to those who have wicked thought, to those who are not humbled. You must love Jesus with all your heart, your soul, your mind, your strength before you start teaching others. Their souls are so precious, their eternity will bring party in heaven, angels in heaven will shout and rejoice every one soul repented and come back home. Do you love Jesus? If you do, please do not lord over them, but serve them. Afterall, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children (2 Corinthians 12:14). Be their shepherd, not their butcher. God bless you all

What are you praying for?

My friends, are you tired of praying? You pray and pray and pray to the LORD, God Almighty but you find no answer, you even can't reach Him, all of your prayers seem to be stuck on the roof of your house.

You pray for prosperity, God gives you poverty. You pray for a raise, God gives you financial problem. You pray for deliverance, God gives you problem. You pray for health, God gives you sickness. You pray for miracles, God gives you accident. You pray for children, God closes your womb. You pray for success, God gives you failure. You pray for blessing, God gives you curse.

My friends, if this is your situation now, Bible said, "Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor His ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. For your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt. Your lips have spoken lies, and your tongue mutters wicked things (Isaiah 59:1-3).

Some people are in deadly wrong when they think God is testing them by taking all of their possession. They console themselves with the story of Job. In fact, everybody wants to be like Job in the end, where God blessed him richly. My friends, you should know that Job was a righteous man. He was blameless and upright, he feared God and shunned evil (Job 1:1). God was indeed testing him. But you? Do you fear God? If God said to you stop doing immorality, abortion, sex before married, but you keep doing it and when something bad happened to you, you console yourself by saying to yourself "I am in Job's situation, God will recover all my losses with abundant blessing". You are so naive, my friends. You are not being tested, in fact, you have already failed the test and now you are under curse from God (Deuteronomy 28).

Don't get offended too soon. I haven't even started. Bible again said, "When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right (Isaiah 1:15-16)!

My friends, have you ever played with your dice? If you have not, just remember Maths lecture when you were in junior school. If you throw a dice 600 times, how many times you would likely get number "6"? When you answer 100 times, your teacher will give you 100 point, will he not?

Now I am asking you, "When you pray for 600 times, and you got answers only 100 times. Is that from God or from probability theory?" Do you know that God is good even to the sinners? He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:45). So, when you think God answered your prayers because you are His children. You better learn more from the Bible.

Bible said, "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16). Jesus said, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (Matthew 21:22)." Here is my question: Are your prayers powerful and effective that each time you pray, things happen? How many prayers you prayed left unanaswered or you receive "BIG NO" as answer? Do you receive whatever you ask from God, even though you have put your faith bigger than mustard seed there? Please don't console yourself by saying "God said 'No' to me and I believe that it is for my own good, even though I can't see clearly, but it would be the best for me."

My friends, is that what written in Matthew 21:22, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Is Jesus lying when He said so? Will He answered "No" to His children who ask in His name? Prove my if you think I am wrong.

Again, you keep saying "Ah, Alvin. We are not men of God, we are not prophets of old, we are just commoner, publican, yada yada." My friends, let me tell you something. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops (James 5:17-18). Why when he prayed God answered, but when we, so called "children of God" pray, God keep silent? Jesus even said the John the Baptist was greater among those born of women, including Elijah, but yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he (Matthew 11:11). Do you really inherit the kingdom of God, my friends? Want to know the truth?

The reason why when you ask, you do not receive is because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures (James 4:3). My friends, stop consoling yourself, be deceived no more, open your eyes of understanding and see. Do you realize that you ask with wrong motive or not? Just think about it, okay? Again, don't be too quick in getting offended. I haven't even started. If you want to learn the secret of prayer, please continue, if not, please leave.

Some people quoting Scripture when they pray, e.g: "Abba, Father, you said if I have faith like mustard seed I can send the mountain to the sea. Now I want to pray with the same faith, give me a new Mercedes at the end of this year" "give me healing right now" "give me miracles" "give me blessing" "give me $10000", etc. Do you know what they get? Most of them getting disappointed, not getting an answer.

There is a story in the Bible. Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: God, I thank you that I am not like other men --- robbers, evildoers, adulterers --- or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get." But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner (Luke 18:9-14). Do you know what Jesus said about the tax collector? "I tell you that this man, rather than the other went home justified before God.

Jesus said, "when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen and do not keep on babbling like pagans, for you think you will be heard because of your many words (Matthew 6:5-7). My friends, when you start babbling like pagans, God immediately hide His eyes from you, no matter how long, how eloquent, how wonderful your prayers, you talking to the wind. Why? Because you are full of yourself, you pray about yourself. Judge it by yourself, my friends. Why your prayers seem to be stuck in your roof. Have you asked God with the right motive?

• Why you ask God to give you money? So that you will have love of money more and more? So that you can use it to gratify your flesh more? So that you will love the world even more? You can die trying, my friends. God will not give you, but satan will. Do you know that love of money is root of all kinds of evil? Do you know that the people who eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Timothy 6:10)? Remember what Jesus said "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:25)."
• Why you ask God to give you the world, the fame, the prosperity? Do you know that if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him (1 John 2:15)? God will only give you prosperity when you walk in righteousness. Devil can also give you prosperity, but don't be surprise if in the next following year, your son die in accident, your home is burned with fire, your money is stolen, your health is terrible. As fast as he gave you, he will also take from you. Use your worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwelling (Luke 16:9).
• Why you ask God to give you healing? So that you can be more free in doing sins? You are now sick on your bed, can't go partying. You are now having kidney problems so that you can't be drunk. You are now having heart attack so that you can't work 7 days a week, 16 hours a day, abandon your wife and children. If God release you from that sickness, what will you do, my friends? Will you not come back to your bad habits and satisfy your pleasure again?
• Why you ask God to give you power? So that you can rule and lord over people? So that you can be proud and boastful? So that you will be well-known by people around you? Bible said "In his pride the wicked does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God (Psalm 10:4). Do you want to play god, be god of yourself with your own power?
• Why you ask God to give you souls? To make name for yourself? To get their money? To get title as "pastor" "apostle" or even "super-apostle" so that you will have authority over people? To make them as twice a son of hell as you are (Matthew 23:15)? Do you know that every soul is so precious for God? Do you know that one soul you bring to God, make heaven rejoice? Do you know that God loves those souls more than you do and He will not give them to false hand unless they themselves refuse to know the truth?
• Why you ask God to bring people to church? To make them hypocrites and claimed themselves to be "Christians", "Children of God" but their lives even worse than unbelievers, Before you bring people to church, please watch your pastor's life and teachings closely. Many people are lost because they are disappointed by their pastors and the church, and they swore not to enter any church again. One soul is lost because you bring them to the wrong church, the church whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things (Philippians 3:19).

Have you asked God with the right motive? His name to be glorified, that's the only motive God will grant you answers. My friends, He will give you money, prosperity if you use it for God's works. He will heal you if you want to be used by Him greatly. He will give you souls and make church full of believers when you are ready and able to teach the truth from the Bible uncorruptly. He will give you power to destroy all the obstacles, the barriers that captives people if you use it to glorify His name more and more. He wants to be glorified, He is a jealous God, once you act like "god" for yourself, He will send angel to strike you down, like His angel did to Herod King. Remember this: Glory be to God alone.

If you want to know the way to be heard when you pray. Listen carefully. Faith is gift from God (1 Cor 12:9). You will not have faith unless God gives you. Salvation is Gift of God, Repentance is Gift of God and prayer is in Spirit and faith. You can't pray in Spirit if it is not given to you from above.

You can't pray in Spirit if you don't have Holy Spirit inside you. You can't have Holy Spirit inside you, if you have never repented toward God and have faith toward Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 20:21). Bible said, "This gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction (1 Thessalonians 1:5)".

Please do not be misled, my friends. Deep conviction is important, if you never felt it, but you brainwashed yourself by doctrines and deceived yourself by thinking that you have already Holy Spirit inside you. You are having a form of godliness but denying its power (2 Timothy 3:5). Faith + doctrines is a closed system. When doctrines failed you, faith play great role and when faith failed you, doctrines play role. In the end of the day, you deceive yourself more and more. God hardens those He want to harden. He will even help you by sending you strong delusion so that you will perish without remedy and you will just want to believe in lies. It happened because you refuse to love the truth and so be saved (2 Thessalonians 2:10-11).

If you can't pray at all, if your prayers left unanswered, if you can't understand Bible, if you can't sing and praise God will all your heart, if you don't like having fellowship with other believers. Something is wrong with your faith. Your faith is futile. You are a product of "doctrines + faith" is always right. Wanna proof?

Some of us believe that if we jump from 30 floor, we will not die because there was a miracle happened in the old days, people fell from that height but did not die. We believe in this "doctrine" and we try to jump with all of our faith and believe that we will not die. Do you know where you will be afterward? In newspaper, entitled "A crazy man committed suicide by throwing himself from 30 floor." You better be sure that you have deep conviction about your "born again". If right now, your heart start condemning you that you are not genuine Christian yet, I would tell you that it is godly sorrow works repentance to salvation (2 Corinthians 7:10).

My friends, why don't you stop deceiving yourself any longer? Many of those who profess that they are "Christian" are not truely believers. Bible said, "by their fruit you will recognize them. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' (Matthew 7:19-23).

Some of you will think that this writing is provocative and offend you so much. You think that you know better, this is what Jesus said "If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains (John 9:41). And some of you will realize their condition and ask themselves, "Am I really saved?" "Can somebody help me?" "What should I do to be saved?" There is a hope for you, my friends. Repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 20:21). There is only "Heaven" or "Hell", "Repent" or "Perish", "God" or "mammon", "children of God" or "children of darkness". Your eternity depend on your choice.

Christian life is practical. Jesus said "But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand (Matthew 7:26) Bible also said "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like (James 1:22-24).

You must do what you have understood. You must make decision right now!! Let me share my experience with you, the moment I repented and put my faith to Jesus Christ.

I was a Christian since I was born. I believed in Jesus with all my heart, Jesus is my superhero. I found that the more I grow up, the more I committed sins. But doctrines always consoled me. "I am a children of God" I brainwashed myself. My life was even worse than unbelievers, but I still believed that I will be in heaven because my pastor and the doctrines (teachings of men) said so. My heart always condemned me everytime I sinned, but I consoled myself by saying, "If I don't believe with my "faith" that Jesus has paid the price for me, it would be dangerous for me. I must stick to this faith." Doctrines + faith = closed system and will always be right.

But Bible verse disturbed me, "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God (Hebrews 10:26-27) and another verse "No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God (1 John 3:9).

I began to confuse, Bible said that children of God can not go on sinning. Bible said that if I deliberately keep on sinning, no sacrifice for sins is left. But why, I, who deliberately sinning claimed myself to be children of God. I am not. But why my pastors never told me about this? God, please help me!!!

My friends, God is awesome. When I cried out will all my heart and surrender all. In that moment, it is not a magic, but it is true. Something started to happen in my life. I became a different person. I am a new creation, I have renewal of my mind, my pleasures are changed from flesh to godliness, from sinful nature to godly nature. My stony heart was changed to heart of flesh. I became to have so much compassion toward people. It happened naturally, I didn't work for it, I didn't follow any law or tradition. It is Gift from God.

I began to share my Jesus to my friends, to my family, to my relatives. Some of my friends left me. They said that I was a different person. They can't feel comfortable anymore being with me. Everytime they said foul words, dirty jokes, etc, I didn't laugh as before, I even rebuked them. My girlfriend left me, some of my best friends too. But still, I can't stop talking about Jesus. I want them to experience the greatest joy in life, encountering God Almighty.

I don't understand why people chose to ignore Jesus until I read in the Bible, "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God (John 3:19-21)."

I tell you the truth. I have been "born again" for more than 3 times. How can it be? Let me explain it. It happened because all of them are fake repentance. Everytime the words from my pastors touch me deeply, I began to repent and ask forgiveness. The first time, I said to Jesus, "Jesus, please save me. Be my Saviour. But I give you 50% of my heart. Allow me to keep 50% for myself." Did it work? No, in fact I continued sinning. The second time, I said again, "Jesus, forgive me, please save me. Be my Saviour. But let me have 25% of my life, you have the rest." Did it work? No, I continued sinning. The third time, "Jesus, I am sorry, please forgive me. Be my Saviour. But I give you 99.99% of my life, let me keep 0.01% for myself." Did it work? No. I kept sinning. Until I tired with all the Bible stuff and become atheist for some years. I did agree with Karl Marx that "religion is the opium of people".

But thanks be to God. God has not sent me strong delusion yet. His words touch my heart deeply, godly sorrow began his work to repentance to salvation. I said to Jesus, "Jesus, I repent with all my heart. Forgive my sins, I am not worthy to be your children. I can't do it alone. I have tried to do it alone but I am tired, my life is a mess. I need Your help. Do what you like in my life. I just want to surrender all. I give you 100% of my heart and my life. You are not only my Saviour but also my King and my Lord. All of me is yours."

Wow...something start to happen. Peace start flowing to the whole my body system. Peace from above, not from the world. I can feel it, it is so real. so great, so wonderful, so awesome. I just want to be in that mood forever. The guilt, the pains, the condemnation, the wrath of God are removed, are erased and remembered no more. My life start refresh again. I see think differently. All things are beautiful. It happened on 15 April 2007 and since that day, people see me as a different person. They saw I start acting differently, I removed all my adult videos, pictures, start reading Bible daily for hours. I myself, can't understand what happened, but I can't hide it. I came to Germany to have a comfort life and find good job, but God gave me burden about my country, Indonesia. He put His will on me. Again, it is Gift from God. Praise the Lord.

Bible proved itself to be true. If my human nature was born in 16 September 1983, my spiritual man also have a birthday. Now I understand why Moses, Abraham, Daniel, David, Paul, Mary Magdalene, etc became different person after they have met God. They can't hide it. I also understand why many people are crazy for Christ, love Jesus with all their heart. They didn't work for it, I didn't work for it. God changed us to be a new creation, heavenly citizen.

What I need to do is to humble myself and allow God to form me as a clay in the Potter's hand. Mold me and make me to be His instrument. Faith start to come, Hope start to come, Joy start to come, Love start to come. All Gift of God fall upon me richly. God is my Father. My friends, I have Almighty God as my Father. Can you imagine that? God loves you too. Don't be like my friends who love to stay in darkness and fear that your deeds will be exposed. God already know your heart, you are always naked in His eyes so what you need to ashamed of when you come to Him?

I begin to be able to pray in Spirit and faith. When I pray, it is not me again who pray, but Holy Spirit inside me. Bible said, "in the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will (Romans 8:26-27)."

I experienced it and once again the Bible proves itself to be true. And the more I ask to be like Jesus, the more powerful my prayers. The more I am selfless, not selfish to God, the more He manifest in me, The more I decrease and the more Jesus increase, the more I have access to every store in heaven and my prayer bring heaven come down on earth. I can feel God's Presence everytime I pray. I just need to open my mouth and words start flowing. Praise the Lord. It is Gift of God. I never learn it. Faith is Gift. Holy Spirit is Gift. Prayer is Gift. Sometimes God moves me to pray for some specific issue, sometimes God wakes me up in the night to pray, sometimes God gives me dreams, and I can see things happen. My friends, I want you to have it too. Put it to practice, don't just want to know, but do it.

Go into your room, lock the door, start pouring out your heart, if you still have so many sins, so many dark secrets, tell Him, there is nothing to be ashamed of, He knows it even though you didn't tell Him. He just want you to be honest to Him, to humble yourself and realize that you are poor, wretch, weak, naked and you need His help. And if you really mean all you have confessed with all your heart. He will show Himself strong and transform you into a new creation. He will put His Law and Commandment into your heart, no more in 2 blocks of stone. And everytime you sinned before God, your heart will condemn you (1 John 3:21) and the feeling is unbearable. You can not go on sinning anymore. You didn't work for it, you didn't suffer for it, for your pleasure has changed. We live by grace.

I can't imagine if my heart never condemn me everytime I sinned. I would have already lost. But God put grace in my heart to always ask His forgiveness everytime I failed Him. You can't stand even one day sinning before Him. Why? Because I lost His Presence. I want to read Bible, I can't understand, I want to pray I can't. I want to sing, I can't. My food is gone, my water is empty. I am starve to death in Spirit. I always need to repent so that God will give me Bread of Life and Living Water again. Everyday, I walk toward perfection. God does His work in me. What I need to do is to allow Him do His own free-style in my life. His will be done. I love living a life like this. In earth is like in heaven. Experience it by yourself, my friends.

But, I want you to understand that Salvation is Gift of God, Repentance is Gift of God, Faith is Gift of God. God will only give this to those who humble themselves. Let me tell you somebody' testimony about a man whose heart is too proud, even to himself. He needed to creep down to the forest nearby his house so that nobody will see him making confession to God. He is too ashamed to be honest with God, but he wanted to be saved. He prayed and prayed, but no respond. He was too afraid with the circimstance. Each time he prayed and something disturbed him, e.g: bird singing, etc, he stopped praying. He really wanted to be saved. His heart is ready, but his mind is always hindering him to be opened to God.

Because of that, God hadn't given him salvation. But he insisted, he kept praying for hours, start to be honest with God, confessing all his sins, his dark secret until God satisfied with Him and finally God show Himself strong. This man's name is Charles Finney. He was the man who bring revival in US in 19th century. One time he entered one of the factory and say nothing, but God's presence came down from heaven to earth because he was a strong prayer warrior. He was a prayerful man. He woke up so early in the morning and prayed till sun has risen high. In that factory, people began to weep and confessing their sins to God.

How about you, my friends? Do you have deep conviction as 1 Thessalonians 1:5 said? Can you pray to God? Remember: Repentance, Salvation, Faith are Gift of God and it comes only to those who humble and meek. Are you sincere enough and choose to be "stupid" enough to do this? For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God (1 Corinthians 1:18).

Some of you who have poisoned themselves with doctrines plus faith (closed system) which denying God's power will think that I am talking rubbish, not agreed with their doctrines or theologies. Those people who use their little, tiny brain more than their humble heart will not understand what I am talking about. For Jesus said ""I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure (Luke 10:21). Christian life is practical and you will never understand it with your brain. If you can understand God with your brain, that God is not God at all, because you can understand Him, you can predict His ways and movements. Stop using your little, stupid, tiny brain, my friends. Start hitting your knee to the floor and confess with your mouth that Jesus is the Lord of lords, King of kings. Allow Him to show Himself strong. Put Him out of your box so that you will see how great the Almighty God is.

This is the secret to have powerful prayers: Be righteous man. Let Jesus rule over you, allow Him to do His will in your life. You have been crucified, you have been bought by precious price. Say to Him, "Lord, I surrender all". Hit your knee on the floor, put off your sandal, see Him as Almighty God whose words created this universe. The more you humble yourselves before Him, the more He will be exalted and the more He will lift you up and He will give you desire of your heart.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

My friends, I want to ask you. Who are we? Are we not just a breath? We can't have faith if God does not give it to us. We are so weak, we can't move mountain, but Jesus in us is powerful, He is the One who has faith that can bring heaven to earth. It is all come from God, not our works. We just need to humble ourselves and see how He manifest in our life. He is the One who said "The battle is mine" "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance I will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still (Exodus:14:13-14).

And if you believe with all your heart that Jesus is able to do that and you allow Jesus to rule over you fully, everything you ask will be given because it is in acordance to God's will. When Jesus inside you prays through you to Father, your prayer will be so sweet, words by words will follow one after another, you will just like singing, Holy Spirit inside you manifesting. Things happen.

When you pray in Spirit and with faith from Jesus inside you. No matter what problem you have, how bad your health is. Say to your problems, touch your injured, your invalid body and ask God to do His will in your life, to make His name be more glorified, miracles, healing, deliverance will come through your own hand. The prayers moved and led by Spirit, the prayers of righteous man is powerful and effective. It is not about ourselves, but God's name be glorified in our life and through us to other people's life.

My friends, if you still praying repetition prayers or just as habits (before you eat, before you sleep, before you go somewhere, before your exams) with the same words, you are not yet children of God. I tell you with love. I want you to be saved. Jesus rebuked Peter, "Get behind me, Satan." It comes from His love, His heart. My friends, I love you and I want you to be saved and experience God by yourself. So, please find a quiet time for you and God and start pray with your heart, begging for His mercy. He will not abandon you. But remember one thing: He sees our heart, don't let any hypocricy hinder you from Him. God bless you and I am waiting for your testimonies, my beloved friends.