Alvin, you have something wrong with your brain.

Alvin, your brain need to be fixed. You turned your Bible upside down. I can't understand you at all. You talking rubbish.

My friends, I admit that I am crazy, I am crazy for God. If you call me fanatic, I would say, 'Yes, I am Jesus fanatic.' So what? Your mockery, your harsh words, I considered it as a compliment. I am blessed because of you.

Matthew 5:10

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

John 15:20

Remember the word that I said to you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

2 Timothy 3:12

Yes, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution

Actually, I never had in mind that I would be like this. I myself even amazed. My ambition, my dream, my enjoyment, my mind, everything start anew. I am a new creature. I am now addicted to God. The more I know God, the more I love Him and the less I am thinking about myself. I strongly depend on Him, He is awesome God, and He is faithful. The best moment in my life is when I came closer to Him, His Presence make me melt, I am broken before Him, I was like in heaven. He is so real. I want to always dwell in His Glory. I am longing to be in heaven, but I still have task to do. And you know what? It gives me so much joy doing it.

Let me share you my personal thing. When I graduated from Bachelor. I had so much joy, but not long after that, problem come whether I need to look for job or continue to Master. I chose the later. Then, after I was accepted in Germany, again, I had so much joy, but not long after that, problem came again, I need to struggle to graduate from here. It continues and I believe that, after I got the degree, I will be happy too, but then, what? New problems will come. I need to look for job or do something else. After I find job, raise family, grow old, then die. Is that life that I need to enjoy? I can't enjoy this kind of life, for me, it just like animal's life. Being born, live, and die and everyday just the same, full of problems, wake up early in the morning, doing daily activity, sleep in the late night, and continue till I die. Life seems boring, without hope, without vision, without satisfaction. Nothing last forever outside Jesus. That enjoyment was only momentary. Human can never be satisfy. I know this for sure.

But since God gave me His task, specially designed for me. Even the little things I did for Him, gave me so much joy. Every progress I made, I have joy in my heart, because I know that God is exalted, because I know that I am fulfilling my ministry for Him, because I know that I am doing God's work, because I know, if God is with me, who is my enemy? NONE. I am not struggling for Christ, living my Christian life gave me so much pleasure. No matter what people will say about me, I really care less, I just want to stay as long as possible in this mood, this joy, this peace of God.

• The more difficult the task, the more I rejoice in my heart, because it makes me strongly depend on Him and He is faithful God, He never forsaken me, but help me in everything.
• The more difficult the task, just make Him Presence closer to me, and if you closer and closer to me, His Glory overwhelm me. So wonderful, my friends. I wish that you can have the same thing, I talked to you based on my experience.

So, if you haven't got it, instead of being skeptical, it would be much better for you to ask directly to God. Is this mad man, Alvin, said is true or not? Many can't understand what I said.

It happened because you never feel God's Presence, you are just having a form of godliness but denying its power (2 Timothy 3:5). You think that you are genuine born again, which in fact, you are still sinner, have not been children of God yet. I have been in that position before, I know what I am talking about.

If you want to be in heaven or at least, feel the glimpse of heaven like Peter, James and John had when they wanted to build 3 tents and stayed there as long as possible, you should check your life. Please think about these questions:

• Do you know that In heaven we will praise and worship God all the times? Do you feel that praise and worship God is so difficult, no joy in your heart? If you feel like that, I think you will be the most miserable person in heaven? I can see that many people can't sing and worship God in joy, can't express theirselves onto God.
• How about having fellowship with other believers? Do you find it is difficult to accept differences among you? You will be rejected by God because you didn't love your brothers and sisters. Heaven is Holy Place, there will not be any strife, dispute, you must love each other. I can see that many people focus so much on races, culture, tradition, they won't interact with people outside their community. You will prohibit your family member to marry from another tribe or race. Don't think that you will be in heaven, my friends.
• Do your prayers seem not to reach up to heaven or always stuck on the ceiling of your room? Do you know that praying is like breathing? Bible says 'Pray without cease (1 The 5:17). If you don't have communication with God, you will not be in heaven, because in father-child relationship, there must be contacts, you know His mind and He knows your heart. I can see many people can't pray, after 30 seconds, they lost their words.
• Do reading Bible seem difficult for you? Bible is Word of God, if a child never listen or difficult to know what his Father said, how can he please His Father? I can see many people can't read Bible for more than 2 Chapters a day.
• Have you not been diciplined by God, been sanctified? If you are have not, you are illigitimate child. No Father wants His child go astray. I can see many Christian behave worse than unbelievers. No dicipline at all.
• Can you keep doing His will and stop sinning? Have your sinful nature changed? You must not continue your old habit any longer, because your spirit is stronger than your flesh. This Spirit is God's grace, it is not because our might, but because of God, we need to ask this grace more and more. I can see many people make a strict rules for themselves to make them holier, they will even punish themselves if failed, but it isn't like that. If you are born again, you are new creature, your nature change, your new body hates sinning, you will find that sins is something unbearable. You don't need to struggle for that as long as God's grace upon you. And this grace was given to those who ask and have strong bond with God.
• And when you know you did something bad, you know that your heart will always be unsettle, you need to ask God's forgiveness and stop doing it so that your heart will be back in peace, day by day you become more perfected, your bad behaviour, characters were cut off my God through sanctification. Your target is holiness, without stain, wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless for God is holy. And then, God's Holy Spirit will dwell inside you fully.
• You will be able to do something that you can't do before. You will be able to cast away demons, do healing, do prophecy, speak in different tongues, etc according to the Gifts of Holy Spirit. You need to move from your present level higher and higher. Living Christian life is practical, don't easily be settle with your condition right now. The more you closer to God, the more joy in your heart. Move forward, get more nice time with God, you will be addicted to Him, He will take care everything for you. Your career, your future, your whole life. Depend strongly on Him.

If you haven't experienced that, no wonder why you think that I am crazy. We live in different world, my friends. I have been called out of the world, you still live in the world. So, I really understand where you are, I have been there too, I also was like you, called people who love God, nerd, mad, etc. I realized that being skeptical bring no good. I have put aside that critical mind, skeptical mind and humble myself before God. You know what? He came to me and open my eyes of understanding. So, my friends, you need to start moving, don't be too defensive, open your heart to God, He will surely come. Why you are afraid of being deceived? Why you called me false teacher, false prophet, playing God, etc? I just sharing my personal experience in hope that you will feel the same thing like me. I guide you, It look as if I walked with you together until we find a crossroad, left or right. I can't accompany you any longer, you have to make your decision. The road you choose will just between you and God. Salvation is personal, living Christian life is optional, take it or leave it. It is only between you and God, who will deceive you then? God?

My friends, I challenge you this: If you can find a person who can testify that after knowing Jesus, or rather being known by Him, he chose to backslide to go on his own way and could testify that his life is happier than before. I would give all of my money to those who can testify like that. Without Jesus, you will only find vanity, emptiness. That's my belief, so if you can prove otherwise, I will give you everything that I have.

For me, God is faithful, and I know that He will take care of me. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20).

Many people think that I am crazy, and after read my confession above, they would think that I even more crazy than they could imagine.

I believe that Bible is the Word of God. And that accusation, persecution, etc are not new to those who believe in God. I even think vice versa. Those who are ashamed of this Gospel, of Jesus' name, who can't stand and say on the top of the roof, I am big fan of Jesus, they must be not really genuine born again Christian. I said one more time. They must be not genuine born again Christian. Want the Bible verse to proof my statement, read this verse very well.

2 Timothy 3:12

Yes, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution

Sorry, my friends, I just state the fact, you think I am crazy, I rejoice, you think I am correct, peace be with you. I have nothing to lose. You will never read again my blogs, good, my pearl are too precious for you, I am teaching myself; you keep reading my blog, good, hope it bless you. I just think how to please my God, not men.

Persecution has started long ago, it started since Cain killed Abel. Those who persecute the righteous are children of darkness. It happen because of they are jealous. They want to be honored by God, but they can't get it. You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you can't have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures (James 4:2-3).

Many people mock me, Alvin, are you saint? You always talk about holiness, stop sinning, etc.

My friends, I can only answer, I am not a saint, I am human being, who has been born again. God's Spirit is inside me. Spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. There is a time where my spirit got weak because of my relationship was disturbed, it is easier for me to turn away from His Gospel, but because of that, I knew that I can only maintain to live in holiness, not because of my might, but because of God's grace. He is the one who gave me strength. Bible said, if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. Those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

Paul had experience being persecuted too, and he gave me so much courage through His letters.

Acts 26:24

As he continued to make his defense, Festus shouted, “You're out of your mind, Paul! Too much education is driving you crazy!”

I would declare that I am not insane and I am also not stupid. I am a Chemical Engineering Master student in Germany. Do you think a fool could do what I do? It is because I experience how my burdens were taken away from me, and I find peace that I always looking for during my quest. I felt God's hand in my life, in many ways, why should I not share it with you? I am just leading you to Christ through my experience, just like someone led me to Christ before. What I freely get, I should freely give. If you still insist that I am a foolish man.

1 Corinthians 1:18-21

For the message about the cross is nonsense to those who are being destroyed, but it is God's power to us who are being saved. For it is written, “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the intelligence of the intelligent I will reject.” Where is the wise person? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? God has turned the wisdom of the world into nonsense, hasn't he? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know God, God decided through the nonsense of our preaching to save those who believe.

Do you believe in my nonsense, my friends?