Are you afraid of dying?

I like to speak with many people and some of them are willing to share their problems to me. The more I interact with people, the more I understand that many people, even Christians, are afraid of dying. Many of them don't want to die, but on the other hand, they also don't know the reason why they should continue living. For them, to die is better than to live for they can't find any benefit living in this fallen world, in the world full of problems, misery, sorrow, sadness, loneliness, hated, despised, fear, worry. These kind of bad feelings will always easily replace the happiness and the joy you have. For many people (if I couldn't say for ALL), it seems that bad things happen more often than good things.

When you are high school student, you think that you will be happy if you become a university student. After you are a university student, you think you will be happy when you have a job. After you have a job, you think you will be happy if you quit your job and find another one. After you find a good job, you think you will be happy if you have a family. After you have a family, you think you will be happy if you are getting old in comfort zone. After you are old, you think you will be happy if you are high school student again. In the end of your life, what achievement you have done? Do you get happiness that you pursuit since you are born? "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless ( Ecclesiastes 1:2)."

Many people think that life is monotone and just repetition. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and come back to Sunday again, doing the same thing again. Wake up in the morning at 5 am, preparing for work/school/university, leave home, doing activities, lunch, activities again, going back home, dinner, watching movies and sleep. Tomorrow we will do exactly the same things like today. The only difference is we are getting older each day.

Once our body was strong, we can do anything, climb the hills, carry heavy things, do many things at once, etc. But with ages, we start needing help from glasses, walking-stick, wheel-chair, other people, etc. Our hairs start change its colour, our teeth start to loose and fall, our eyes start to become blury, our breath start to be easily tired. We start to go to hospital: having heart problem, stomach problem, etc and when we are old enough, we go to old-house, waiting for death to come. Our body is depleting, but life is still monotone and getting worse and worse everyday since our body are getting weaker and weaker.

• Being born, then become little children, teenager, adult, old people and die.
• Being born, going to school, study bachelor and master, getting married, having family, working until the body grow old, spend oldtime, and die.
• Problem of health, problem of economy, problem of status, problem of household, etc.

Ecclesiastes 3:19

Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless.

Everything is meaningless for most of the people, and many of them can't find the reason why they should continue living, but they also don't want to die since they are really afraid of dying too. And because of that, they live just for the present time, not for future. They become short-sighted. They just want to enjoy the life to the fullness they can get. They know that they are deceiving themselves, but they can't help it. They are looking for answer for their whole life, but can't find it. There is something missing in their life, which is: the purpose of their life and hope for better future.

Their problem is: they don't know what is missing and how to solve it. Because of that, they don't want to think about it any longer. It is useless for them to think about it since they see that everybody has the same problems and struggle to find solution too.

But if I continue asking them, "What kind of death do you want?" Everybody wishes to die while they are sleeping and painless. They don't want to live too long, 70-80 years old is enough, they don't want to be the last person who die in their generation, they don't want to die in accident, they don't want to die in sickness, they don't want to die in natural disaster, they don't want to die murdered, they don't want to die prematurely, but if I ask them again, "What if today is your last day in this world, are you ready to die?" Most of them can not give me an answer, just laugh and try to change the topic. I can tell that they are really afraid of dying. How about you, my friends?

Some people are brave enough by saying, "I am not afraid of dying. To die is just to die. Everybody will face it, sooner or later. So, what should I worry for? To die means that our lifetime has ended and nothing more. But... ." For many people I have spoken with, there is always a BIG BUT after they said that they are not afraid. Then they began to make excuse, "but how about my family, but how about my business, but how about my pets, etc"...They are not ready yet and will never be ready until the time suddenly knocking in their door.

I, personally, am convinced that many people are not sincere when talking about death. What come out from their mouth is different with what the condition of their heart. When they are on their dying bed, when they know the time has come for them to leave this world. They will start to think about their problems. They will start to think to find solution. Do you think there will still be enough time for them? What if they suddenly died in accident when they are still young thinking that death is still far away from them? Or suddenly natural disaster happened? Or they are murdered by psycho? Do you know that every second thousands of people died? Do you know that death doesn't choose its victim's age?

So, my friends. Allow me to ask you "Why don't you look for answer when you still have TODAY? If you have lived a life for 30, 40, even 90 years old, and still can't find your satisfication why don't you use 5 minutes of your lifetime to find the solution about your problem? Bible said "Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7).

I have seen a lot and talked with old and young people. When they are young, they behave whatever they like, and when they are old and almost die. They start going to church, in hope that God will see their hypocrisy and that God will notice that they paid Him attention, even though they just fulfill their obligation. Do you think God is a donkey? Do you think God is a man? Do you think you can deceive God?

Galatians 6:6-8

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

It is not God's problem when you reap destruction afterlife. It is your problem. Jesus can't help you once you are dead and condemned for eternity in hell. Because of His love, He called you again and again during your lifetime, until you get tired of everything so called GOD. You make a joke of His name, you trampled the Son of God, Jesus Christ, under foot, you have treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified Him and you have insulted the Spirit of grace. Listen to what He said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," "The LORD will judge his people" It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:29-31).

A little time of weeping, begging God's mercy whole-heartly, asking His forgiveness and fully surrender to Him can bring you eternal life, can replace your gnashing teeth to overflow joy. But, count your cost before you do that. I am tired of hypocrisy. I am tired of people making decision irrationally. Just because of the emotional conviction, you start begging for mercy, but 5 days later, you are dwelling again in your past, no different with the unrepented heart.

Jesus gave commandment to make disciples, not converts, that will bear mark of Christ. Read the Gospel about what happened to Jesus. It will also happened to you because Bible said that we need to carry our own cross, that no servant greater than their master, if Jesus was persecuted, we will also be, if Jesus was hated by His own people, we will also be hated, even by your love ones. Being God's children is never easy. You need to strive to enter that narrow gate, for Jesus said, "Many will try to enter, but shall not find".

Your life will become full of noise. People will mock and persecute you. Your family will be against you or even kill you. It happens because once you submit and give God all, God will pour out His Spirit and give you a new heart, you will be a new creation. Your life will change, your behaviour will change. You will have fruits of Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)you will be children of light and this is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed (John 3:19-20).

Because you now have light and whether you realize it or not, you disturb people with your light, people can't stand against you, they get irritated whenever they see you because you show them your good quality and on the same time, their wrongdoing. They will try to persecute you, to shut your light. They want you to conform to them, to be like them again. But when you are children of God, Bible remind you "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is --- his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).

Are you ready? Have you counted your cost? If you are ready, good for you. If you are not ready, you will never find out the solution of your problems. Are you afraid of dying? Have you found the purpose of your life? Do you already found your true happiness and peace? If you are Christians but never read Bible, never talk with God in prayers, never have fellowship with other believers, just go to church to fulfill obligation. If I can suggest you, "Stop going to the church. God will not see your hypocrisy, God will not see your fulfillment. God can't be mocked. Repent and get everything right with Him.

Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6). Repent or perish!!! Get eternal life in Jesus or get eternal damnation in hell!!! Jesus loves you and want you to be saved. Think about it! God bless you

The world for Christ

I have finished my study. I am qualified to be engineer but God has another purpose for me. He wants me to forget about my dream to have comfy life in Germany, to enjoy myself and follow and obey whatever He commands me to do. I was called to be His servant for my beloved country, Indonesia. I have booked my flight and signed the declaration that I will not leave Indonesia for at least 2 years which is part of the deal to get some sponsorship. Unless God has another plan, I personally, don't want to leave Indonesia again. There is no turning back for me. I really want to see revival in Indonesia with my own eyes.

John Knox requested to God "Give me Scotland or I'll die" and God was pleased with him and gave him Scotland or Rachel requested to Jacob "Give me children, or I'll die" and God heard her and gave her children. If you are longing to see Indonesia for Christ, let's shout together "Give us Indonesia or we'll die". I, personally, am longing to see God's fire burn in every parts of Indonesia. Indonesia for Christ. Since the world was created, there is not even a glimpse of revival in Indonesia. We are always defeated by persecution. Does God neglect Indonesia? Far from Him, He loves every nation.

So, my fellow brothers and sisters who love God, let's forget our differences and shout to the Lord "Arise and shine, God of heaven and earth. Conquer Indonesia, conquer the world in your Holy name, let our country and our world know that Jesus Christ is the King of kings, Lord of lords." Bring Fire from heaven, O God, we want to see you glorified. Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, Thailand, China, Russia, India, Japan, Korea, UEA, Canada, Mexico, Central America, Europe, United States, Germany, Arab world, Africa, Australia, South America, and all the world. Children of the light, TAKE YOUR CANDLE AND GO LIGHT THE WORLD...

And if you are in other part of the world, why don't you ask the same request? God doesn't need mighty men to fight for Him, He just need a man who loves Him. He used David the shepherd boy to fight against Philistines, He used Deborah to fight for Israelites, He used Esther to defend her people, He used Moses who was not eloquent to bring exodus of Israelites from Egypt, He used Gideon, the farmer to fight against Midianites. He used Joseph, Simson, Jonah, Nehemiah, Daniel to fight for Him and defend His people. He also used fishermen, tax collector to preach the Gospel. He used the learned and the wise too bring Him glory, like Paul, Solomon, etc. God can use anybody who has heart for Him to do great thing. For the battle is not ours, but His. He just need us to be the channel of His blessing and mighty power for His people.

But to bring revival is not an easy task. It is not one man show. All of us, who are genuine born again, who have candle in our heart with Fire from Holy Spirit need to gather together and in one accord pray onto God like in Acts 2. We must have thirsty for Christ, hunger for the lose souls. We must strip ourselves from anything that can hinder Holy Spirit to take over the place. Revival will not come unless the whole church wear sackcloth, declare holy fasting and have Spirit of repentance toward God as written in Nehemiah 9. Please do read Nehemiah 9 and Acts 2.

We must have Spirit of prayer, soft heart to weep for lost souls, hard knee to kneel down always before God, sensitive ears to hear the cries of help from the oppressed and down. My brothers and sisters, what can make our Lord more than happy except His last will prayer is fulfilled, "May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me (John 17:23). If you see fire in the candle that stand alone and separated from each others, the fire can't burn much, but if we gather together in one accord, our fire can burn everything, like the Fire in California, sweep all over the country.

Let our fire burn every heart of men like California fire. Let the Holy Spirit pour His river of living water like Tsunami in Aceh, let God's children shake the world like the great earthquake around the world, let God show His power like hurricane in US that nobody can stop Him, let God's warriors attack the devil like the winter storm make everything white by snow, let God's grace abound like Noah' flood, nothing under heaven miss the flood, let our word of God strike like lightning, destroy every stronghold of the enemies, and let the Christians' love explode like nuclear destroy every cold heart and its radiation can be felt by everybody, they will melt, nobody can stand against it. Let our love be seen in every part of the cities and towns so that God's name be glorified.

We are in the last days, my friends. Do you want to go to heaven alone? How about your neighbours? Your families? Your relatives? Your friends? Your colleges? or even your enemies? Don't you care about them? Do you want to be happy alone in heaven while your love ones condemn in hell for eternity?

It is our turn to persecute the devils. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12).

Repent, repent and repent!!! Repent, all the people in the world or you will face God's judgment. His cup of wrath is almost fully loaded, He is ready to pour out His wrath against everyone who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace. The Lord is about to bring His judgment upon us. It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Repent and have faith in Jesus Christ. Preach the Gospel. Save the poor, deceived, needy and torn. Go light the world, God's armies. Bring revivals in these last days. God bless you

I am back

First of all, I want to thank God and everybody that care and love me, that always be there and encourage me. I am blessed and strengthened a lot during these days. Since last week I have finished my obligation in my Master program. I have graduated from Chemical Engineering with satisfication. I got MSc degree and I am now an engineer. Though for me, it doesn't mean anything for God has put vision in my heart about what to do next, which not necessarily related to engineering. But I still did my program seriously and tried my best to get the best result and God helps me a lot. For it is from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen (Romans 11:36).

I dedicate this certificate to God and my family, especially to my father for he has worked hard to help my finance here. But if God wants me to burn this certificate, I will do that without hesitation. I lied not, my conscious is clear. God is my witness. This certificate means nothing to me. Between Alvin, MSc and brother Alvin give me no difference. I don't need title. I will always be your brother. I will always still be the same person, today and tomorrow.

My first ambition and all the reason why I came to Germany has already changed. God renewed my mind and my heart. I was a logic man before, who always tried hard to be the best, perfectionist, can't tolerate any mistakes and failures, single-fighter, selfish. I was always be part of the top ranking in the class since I was in elementary school. In my mind, there is no place for something that can't be grasped by science, so called faith. But God captived my heart, He called and changed me. I am now spiritual man who live by faith, not by sight. I despise my brain, my wisdom, my knowledge, my understanding. If I can't glorify God with this brain, why should I have it? It is better for me to be dumb but God is glorified, rather than to be "wise" but belittle God.

I find that living a life like this: depending strongly onto God, having faith like a child, believing that He is the loving Father and that I was fearfully and wonderfully created by Him is much more fun and enjoyable. I can say to myself: "Alvin, what should you worry for? His ways, His thoughts is greater than yours, His plans are much better than yours and not plans to harm you, but plans to prosper. God is your Father. He will take care everything for you. As long as you are committed fully onto Him, He will give you desire of your heart. So, Alvin, what are you afraid of?" For the Bible said "If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31). This is the life that I longing to have, I have searched for eternity long and found: There is none like You, God of heavens and earth. Jesus is my Saviour, my King and my Lord. I am so happy because I have God in my life.

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Though for many people, it is foolishness to believe that Jesus is Christ and Saviour. Son of Man and also Son of God who came down from heaven to save the whole world 2000 years ago, died on the cross for my sins and resurrected on the third day, went up to heaven, sit on the right hand of God the Father. But for me, it is the power of God, it give me hope and answer all my questions and problems. An empty grave is there to prove my Saviour lives. Because Jesus lives, I can face tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone, because I know He holds my future and life is worth the living just because He lives.

So for me, since I have found the pearl, I will sell everything to buy that pearl. Everything outside God is meaningless, including my Master degree certificate. This degree is just an attribute to shut the mouth of people who like to insult others or boast about themselves, who has pride and self-righteous. I am afraid to be that kind of person since God will discipline me and it hurts. It is better for me to be like I am now. I even need you to rebuke me if you find out that I am boastful and arrogant and self-righteous. If you see my flesh pop-up, please rebuke, I would love you and thank you so much.

For I have seen many people who has good knowledge in something, who think that they understand better than most of the people, who can speak many languages, who teach others with their own wisdom, they start raising their face and walking proudly, think others unworthy, stupid and foolish. They boast about their knowledge, their intellect, their wisdom, etc. They think that they always right and others always wrong. They teach others but their purpose is not to make people understand more, gain knowledge more, but to boast about their flesh more. They like to be praised and if somebody didn't acknowledge them, they will be angry and start to fight. O, I really hate that kind of behaviour.

I always ask myself when I see people like that, "Why the people after they have knowledge and understanding, after they got good job, after they have position, their behaviour change? Why they become proud or even arrogant? Why they can't walk normally? Why they have to lift up their face? Why they stop talking with people who are not in the same level with them?" I said to God to let me not be like that for I know that God hates pride. I don't want to come back to my past, to become enemy of God again. I fear Him so much. Making Him as enemy is the terrible mistake people can make. It is dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:31).

I want to shout to that people, "Look, I am also MSc, graduated from Germany. I am chemical engineer. I have done a lot of IQ test and my lowest is 126 and my highest is 139. Who are you people to think other less than you? Do you think you are a genius or what?" (Sorry, I am write as a fool).

God gives you brain and talent not for you to boast to others, not for making you proud, but He wants you to use it, to put it into the field and to be fruitful. If God gave you 5 talents, bring Him 10, if God gave you 2, bring Him 4. Use them to glorify God, to help people, the needy, the poor, the helpless, the fatherless, the homeless and those who still under yoke of satan. Your brain is from God, He can take it back anytime He wants. No matter how genius you are, only one accident, eg: hit by car, illness or other terrible accidents, your brain that you are so proud of will be damaged and you will be nothing.

Or to those who boast about their religious life, I would also want to shout at them "Hey, you people, why are you so boastful about your knowledge? Do you know that we are just human? We can't understand God fully since if we can understand Him fully, He is no more God. If you can understand something fully, you can control and manipulate it fully too. But it is not the case with God. You are the one who are lowly and God is highly.

All of us looking to pieces of Him, that's why we need to united together, not condemn each others, not exclude yourself by making your own group and start condemning people that don't agree with your teaching and using Scripture falsely. There should not be any Baptist, Lutheran, Pentacostal, Charismatic, Methodist, or other 37000 denominations. Jesus last prayer was asking God the Father to make us one in complete unity as He and His Father are one so the world will see that God sent Jesus and love them as He love Jesus.

So, my brethrens, what are you fighting for? Saying your Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran are better? It doesn't need more than 5 minutes to find any mistakes from each denomination for we see only pieces. Water baptism is just the symbol of repentance, it is done to fulfill all the righteousness. Remember that the man who died next to Jesus didn't have time to be baptized, but now he is in paradise. 5 Solas have weaknesses. Speaking in tongue could also be counterfeit. Faith alone is never written in the Bible. Or do you want to keep arguing about doctrines, teaching people to observe law, telling people that your church is the most righteous church? What will you get at the end of the day if you fighting each other over doctrines? Nobody is converted and devil is happy.

There is one simple rule for us: If you have Jesus inside you, and I have Jesus inside me, we are one. So, my friends, if you don't have Jesus inside you, I have Jesus inside me, I need to share it with you. And if you don't have Jesus inside you, not sure about your salvation, Holy Spirit, heaven...stop teaching others for you are in great danger being false prophets and stumbling block. I warn you because I love you. If you mislead the children to fall into sins, it is better for you to put the millstone on your neck and be drown in the depth of sea.

Do you know that some of us are the eyes, some of us are the hands, some of us are the ears, etc in the body of Christ? We must stick together. We should have unity of faith, the same Spirit so that we can see the whole picture of God together. Join our pieces, our puzzle at hands and see broader way and understand God more.

So, my brethrens who have been arrogant and self-righteous. Allow me to talk as a fool again. If you read the Bible everyday, I also do. If you preach only in internet, I preach to everybody I speak with, in internet and also in real life (go and ask my friends here if you don't believe me), if you teach about Bible, I am not only teach it but also practice it. But I am not like you. I am willing to be taught and listen to somebody, even they are younger in Lord than me. I like to be rebuked, to be corrected if I am wrong and if I am not sure about something, I will say "Sorry, I don't know. God has not revealed to me".

And if I should correct, rebuke something or somebody, I always bring Bible verses to them and interprete with another Bible verses for I believe that Bible has authority. Follow and obey. And Bible interpretes Bible. I will not listen to anybody that saying "My conclusion is...., my interpretation is...." It is all about God, not about you and me. It is God's interpretation through your Holy Spirit and those who have the Holy Spirit will all agree.

Thanks God that I can discern the spirits, I know who are hypocrites, not genuine born-again Christians and who are true believers for I also read other's articles. My Spirit get burned when I read other true believers' writing for their Spirit touch mine and because it comes from the same Spirit, I am blessed. But my Spirit will raise a big question mark if I see people teach from their own wisdom. Some people might not feel anything, but I am so sensitive about it. Sometimes God wants me just to pray for them, sometimes He wants me to jump into their articles and give them comments with Scriptures and "disturb" them in order they maybe realize their mistake and ask God's forgiveness. And I bring other witnesses to see whether I am in the right position to correct them or actually, I am the one who are wrong. For it is dangerous, if my flesh who pop-up everywhere, I just make myself in danger, I will become more like stumbling block for others than blessing channel to them.

"Humble yourselves before God and He will teach you. You should serve people not lord over them. Don't be self-righteous."

The reason I didn't write for awhile is not only because I have to prepare for my defence last week and I have started to work again, but also I am tired spiritually. Physically, I work daily from 9 am till 6 pm, it really exhausted me. And spiritually, I got depressed when I heard some of my own brothers and sisters called me "false teacher, false prophet, foolish man". It hurts my heart a lot. It causes a lot of damage to me." I spent hours to create one article, I check it again and again, word by word for I am afraid that it is my flesh who pop up, not Holy Spirit in me. I am really afraid to mislead people to go against God. But no matter what I did, people still call me false teacher, fool, etc. Can somebody who graduate from Master Chemical Engineering be a fool?

I teach "repentance toward God and faith toward Jesus Christ" "justification by faith but faith without deeds is dead" "Faith alone is not enough" "Bible alone is not enough, we need Holy Spirit to interprete it" "observing law, works can't justify people" "Christians should carry their own cross daily, suffer persecution and tribulation" "prosperity gospel is non-sense" "we live by Spirit not by following law" "we need to live holy life for without holiness, no man can see God" "Going to heaven is not easy" "Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, no one can come to the Father except through Him" "All the famines, disasters, crisis also come from God to punish those who don't live according to His commandment and give other warning" "God is love but He is just" "We are on the last days" "Jesus is coming soon" "There are only 2 place for eternity: heaven and hell" "Love your God and love your neighbours" And you still call me a fool? a false prophet? (Sorry, I am talking like a fool, but some people really force me to do that).

Here, I would like to defend myself when people said that "I am foolish, I am false prophet, I am false teacher, I am child of devil". I tell you the truth, many people said that to me and they spread that news to others. One by one, people kick me out from their friend list. And it hurts me. It really hurts me. I have thought that after I finished my Master, I just want to come out from this crowd of people. I am tired of this. I will let them do whatever they want. For in my opinion, I have done my parts. But God didn't allow me to do that. He still keep the burden in my heart about people in this site. I am afraid that they will become a prey of many false teacher, who are not genuine born again, but acknowledge themselves as Christians, Children of God.

My suggestion to all of you, "Leave this Multiply if you don't have enough foundation. The more articles you read, the more you will get confuse since many of them contain poison. Or find the people that you acknowledge to have the truth, that handle the Word of God with fear and tremble." Always ask their testimony of born again first, see also their fruits, how they deal with questions, with people. If they don't have patience, self-control, love, leave them, they are not children of God, not genuine born again Christian. They are blind people who leads other blind, both of you will fall into the pit.

These days, I just tried to find my quite time with God, to listen to Him, to be fillled by Him. I pour out my weaknesses, my tiredness to God. I need to come to His spring to get refreshment. I said to God, "God, I acknowledge them as my brothers and sisters, but they acknowledge me as enemy. I am tired of this. I will allow them to do whatever they want. I just want to be with you, don't give me burden about their souls anymore. They are stiff-necked. No matter how I tried to remind them, they don't listen. They do me more harm than good. Let me prepare my battle in Indonesia and allow me to leave this site."

And devil also tried his ways to come and win my soul back. Devil tempted me to come back to my past, and he won for quite some time. I commited sins that I shouldn't do it (for some people it is normal, not sin, but for me, it is a great sin). I admitted that, asked God's forgiveness and confessed to brothers and sisters that care about me and ask their prayers. For I believe that only God who can forgive sins, but confessing sin to each other is the best way to shame the devil.

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I really think of quiting. But God didn't allow me to do that. God encouraged me through my brothers and sisters who love me so much, who miss me. And it gives me hope, I love them too. Though I believe that they are can stand firm without me, but as we are all human, we need encouragement from each others, rebuke, correction, care to sharpen our faith in Jesus Christ. I believe that I have the Fire to burn their Spirit. God didn't take the burden from me, He keep encouraging me through my family in Christ. Here I am, my family in Christ. I am back, sound and fine. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I love you all.

I will stop listening to what other people think of me. That's none of my business. I will just obey and follow God, if He still want me to be here, I will be here, if He said it is enough, I will be quit. But for now, He wants me to stay. And for your record, I am not a fool whether you like it or not, I am MSc now. (Sorry if you think I boastful, some people force me to do this). I teach based on my experience, not by other's writing or video. I learn it from my daily walk with God.

My friends, I don't want to be self-righteous. I don't use sweet talk or deceptive words to win your attention. I also respect your freewill. You can call me anything, I will not be angry with you. For I don't care. Judge by yourself through reading my articles: Do I have the word of God or not? Am I false prophet or not?

For it is my job to make you open your Bible and read by yourselves, to scatter and destroy your faith that still built on the sand, to destroy your imaginary heaven, and it is my job to tell you that if you don't understand the Scripture, kneel down and humble yourselves before God, ask Him to teach you directly, I don't want you to depend so much on "men of God" for I am afraid you will not be able to discern their spirits for many false teachers there, wolves under sheepskin. Stop your dependency to the men (pastors, evangelists, preachers, workers, etc) but God alone. But I remind you, God can speak and teach you through them. And not only through them, Jesus can speak to you through your family member, your colleges, your friends who even are not men of God. If you see Jesus in them, follow and obey. 100% obedient. But if you see their flesh pop-up, remind them, try to with their soul back. Do not condemn them for you could also be in their position. Everybody can fall, including you for Bible said, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of ungodly and the sinner (1 Peter 4:18).

Judge by your Spirit. Who am I? Brother or enemy? It is up to you, my friends. God bless you

God can transform you if you are willing

My friends, do you know the first miracle Jesus did? Is it healing the sick? Walking in the water? Feeding 5000 people? Casting away demons, or ...? I think every Christian should know about this. And if you really don't know, don't be discourage but I really hope that now you can see how little you know about God. I hope you begin to open your Bible and read. I am not writing this to shame you, but to encourage you to know more about God, as my dear friends.

Yes, the first miraculous sign Jesus did is changing water to wine. God taught me something today, He made me remember the parable of prodigal son. This parable shows us the very heart of God, how God the Father will be very happy if He find that His lost son come back home. The son chose to go on his own way and rebel against his Father until he was in deep trouble and lost everything he had. He lived in miserable place before he came to his senses and decided to go back to his Father's house.

I can feel the very heart of God the Father because I was a lost son. He doesn't care how dirty I was, He doesn't care about my terrible sins in my past, He doesn't care about my selfishness, my rebellion against Him, once I say "Father, please forgive me. I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son". Once I repent and ask His forgiveness with all my heart, once I surrender all, once I invite Jesus to come to my life and dwell inside me, once I have faith that Jesus is able to help me. His precious blood immediately begin to cleanse me. I become a new creation, old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). I knew that something happened in my life, people around me can feel that too.

My friends, the same things can happen to you. God doesn't care who you are, what you are, where you are. He really doesn't care how dirty and stinky you are. What He cares is YOU, his prodigal son, come back home and call Him "Abba, Father". He longs to listen when you call Him "Father, I am so sorry. Forgive me". And do you know what He will do?

He will call His servants, "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found."

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My, friends, we are all dead, all lost because of our sins. We don't understand what we do. For the good that we want to do we don't do, but the things that not suppose to be done, we keep doing it. We have desire to do what is good, but we cannot carry it out. Just be honest to yourself, my friends. I know that this thing also happen inside your body. This happened in everyone of us. This body is full of sins. And the wages of sin is death. We are all dead, we are walking straight to hell. We are all the lost sons. We ate with pigs, slept in the mud of sins, nothing valuable from us. We are so stinky, dirty and poor, nothing valuable.

But, God doesn't think like that. We are so precious for Him. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16). He loves you more than you can imagine. He longs to have interaction with you, to have fellowship with you. God wants to bring you out of your muds of sins. You are not suppose to be there. Move out from there, come back to your sense, my friends. God will change you from nothing to something, from children of darkness to children of God, from scum of the earth to more than conquerors, from poor in spirit to live abundantly in God.

This is the reason why Jesus changed water into wine as His first miraculous sign. He need to change you first to be His children, so that now you can join in His feasting, so that now you can receive all of His Glory, and His promise.

You will never receive anything fully from God if you are still His enemies. Stop daydreaming! Godly healing, godly deliverance, godly blessing will only for those who have faith in Jesus Christ, not for unbelievers. Have you read in the Bible where Jesus healed those who didn't have faith? None.

When you are full of sins and your hands were covered with blood, God will never listen to you, God will hide Himself from you because He is holy, He can't stand against your sins. My beloved, you need Jesus to cleanse you, to reconcile you with God, to make the two one and destroy the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations (Ephesians 2:14-15).

Jesus will change and transform your life

• He will do miraculous things in you and through you
• He will give you all His belonging. Whatever you ask in His name will be given
• He will replace your cold, hard, rebellious, stony heart with a new heart
• He will replace your wicked, adulterous mind with fine and sound mind
• He will replace your sinful behaviour, carnal mind with godly characteristic, with holiness, with righteousness and with spiritual mind
• He will replace your unforgettable, shameful, disappointment past with a hope and bright new future
• He will replace your fear with peace, your anger, hatred, jealousy with love

Ezekiel 36:26-28

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you shall keep my judgments, and do them. And you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and you shall be my people, and I will be your God.

If you desperately want to remove your guilts, your sinful memories, to close your shameful books and start refresh. I have a solution for you since I was like you. Go to God and let Him change you. Is that so difficult? You don't need to do anything, just surrender all, let Him do whatever He wants. He is loving God, He knows the best for you, He will make you whole, live abundant life. Just be still, peace in your heart, trust Him.

It is God, not you, not by your power, not by your might, but God alone. It is God's grace, God's love, God's mercy upon you. It is Gift of God. My friends, you just need to repent and ask forgiveness, kneel down, pour out your heart, and speak to Him. God is near, His word is near to you. He wants to listen to you. He wants to be called "Abba, Father" by you. He wants you to be saved.

Romans 10:8-9

The word is near you, even in your mouth, and in your heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved.

We are forgiven because Jesus was forsaken. We are accepted, because Jesus was condemned. We are loved by God because God's Spirit is in us. Jesus died on the cross and shed His precious blood for us, to make us precious in God's eyes. Do you really understand His sacrifice, my friends? Do you really understand what it takes to make you have peace with God? Do you really understand His blood of covenant, His Spirit of grace? If you really do understand, you will not trample it under your foot, you will not insult it, you will not deliberately keep on sinning after you receive the knowledge of truth.

If during this time, you felt abandoned, despised, worthless, lonely, object of mockery, today is your day to end all these miseries, come back to your senses. Jesus came to this world to save sinner, to save the blind, the oppressed, not the ones who think that he was something which in fact he is nothing.

• The more you tired with this fallen world, the more God can use you. For God wants to use those people who do not love the world.
• The less position you have in worldly life (sinners, adulterers, poors, orphans, prisoners), the more God can use you greatly, but you need to let God cleanse and discipline you. You are the best option to be used by God.

For God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, God chose the weak things in the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things --- and the things that are not --- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him (1 Corinthians 1:27-29).

Once you surrender all to God, don't be surprise if you will become God's interest. Your life will become full of noise. You will have every blessing that God want to give you, but also, you will have a lot of persecution from those who can't accept Jesus in you. Count the cost. If you want to be blessed, follow God, but on the same time, you will be hated by the world. If you want to be like the world, you will become enemies of God. And if you want to be both, serving 2 masters, flesh and spirit, darkness and light. You are lukewarm and God will spew you out. 100% submit to God or stop dreaming about anything good from God, including eternal life.

Put God on the right place in your life. Don't put Him inside your box. He is greater than that, He is even greater than your life, your everything, even this universal. Let God rule you, not you rule God. God bless you

How can God allow such things?

"64 persons die in air crash" "Another earthquake: 1200 dead and 6000 wounded" "7 killed in mine accident." "Insane man attacks school children with flame thrower: 10 children killed; other seriously injured."

Whenever news like this is announced in the press or on television, we hear these questions asked all around us, "And what about God? Where is he? Why does he allow all this without doing something about it? Isn't he all-powerful? Is he there at all?"

How can God allow such things?

Well, it's quite a question! If we intend to bring an accusation against God, we are being fools. Just imagine the following scene: It takes place in a courtroom. There am I, the man who is so offended and saddened by all the suffering in the world. And I am sitting on the magistrate's bench. Seated in the dock is....God! And then from the height of my magistrate's bench, I begin prosecuting God. "Accused, stand up! How could you have allowed such thing to happen?"

There's no way that could happen! There's no way that God could go into the dock and be judged by us. It would make him a pitidul, ridiculous, weak figure. He would not be God at all. The point is this: If God is God, then he is holy. He is the living God. It is he who is the judge and we who are the accused.

I remember once going to a turbulent meeting in the troubled audience, he cried out, "Well, well, there's the preacher! Come on up here!" When I went up, he said, "You think there is a God, don't you? Well if he does exist, I suppose I shall meet him after my death...." I nodded assent.

He continued, "I'm glad of that, because when I meet him I'm going to say this to him, "You knew that children were dying of hunger while others were stuffing themselves --- and you did nothing about it! You allowed wars to happen --- and innocent people suffered while those who were responsible for these killings made a fortune! You said nothing about all this distress --- nothing against all this injustice, oppression and exploitation! "Yes, I'll throw all that in your God's face. And do you know what I'll do then? I'll say to him, "Get out! Come down off your throne and beat it!"

He had succeeded in making me angry and I interrupted him "Fine! Me too! I'll yell with you, "Come down from your throne and beat it!" A deathly silence fell on the meeting. The speaker looked at me, stupefied. He looked as though the thought he had made a mistake and that perhaps I was not the pastor after all. When I saw the expression on the people's faces, I felt like laughing. And the atmosphere was no longer the same. It was the moment to speak and I must not miss it.

"Look here, a God who would allow himself to be insulted by you in such a way would be completely ridiculous. Let me tell you that such a God does not exist, except in your imagination. A God who could be called to account, a God who would stand before you as an accused before his judge --- oh no! such a God could exist only in a sick mind. And I can only say this, "Let's get rid of such a God. Let's put an end to him once and for all!"

"But you are a minister, aren't you?" he stammered in surprise. "Certainly! And that's why I would like to say this." I raised my voice so that everyone could hear me. "I would like to testify before you all that there is another God, the true God. You will not be able to call him to account. On the contrary, it is he who will summon you to appear before his court of justice. When that time comes, you wiill keep your mouths shut. There isn't a God you can say "Beat it" to. But there is a holy, living, true God. And this God may very well say to you one day, "Get behind me! Get out!"

To learn about the True God's way, I would encourage you to read another entry here

This article is taken from "Jesus our Destiny" by Pastor Wilhelm Busch